Words in a Whirlwind

Sidewalk

2010-02-24T14:40:00.001-08:00

A lone flower trapped in the cement of a sidewalk, filled with thorns to keep others away, yet these very same thorns seem to astound people. Bystanders like to watch but do nothing to free this flower from this cement that kills so slowly and softly. This cement only fortifies these thorns, letting them grow and sharpen until none can dare to touch this flower anymore.

Maybe one day it can be free of this dead cement and in a field filled with flowers. Maybe one day someone will find the strength of heart to cut these vicious thorns of pain and sorrow. But for now, this flower is trapped in this dead cement, rotting away with the sharpest of thorns. The sun shines in the sky, mocking, while the passer-bys continue to haunt the flower's days.

Rose

2010-02-24T14:39:00.001-08:00

These thorns, they guard this heart well
Maybe too well for this heart lies alone
It bleeds a brilliant shade of red
A crimson color unlike any I've known
It drips from the tips of these thorns
Dripping until forever more
Onto pages upon pages of blank paper
Devoid of empty words or hollow promises
Of haunting memories or panging regrets
The color, it bleeds through they're perfection
Until they become stained and worthless
Unwillingly discarded into the darkness
But in these shadows, the crimson deepens
And becomes something worth feeling
Incapable of worth but more than stricken tears
The words of crimson, they become clear
Devoid of light, they find new meaning
A plea from a lone rose held captive by its thorns
Stapled to this sleeve and left vulnerable
Bleeding tales in some shape or form
And a longing for someone to be something more
These thorns, they guard far too well
The tales of this heart become difficult to tell

Seven Years

2009-07-25T14:49:00.001-07:00

Seven years and, I'm still here
Still breathing, my heart, still beating
Seven years, a miracle I don't
Cut myself or find my peace in hell
Never had someone to talk to
Now you're sorry you're sorry I don't care
Take this pain away
I've been screaming your name!

[I was never perfect and know I'll] never
Be anything close to what you've dreamed of me
[Could you cry for me? Because I'll] never show you
Anymore (this is the last time)

Seven years, of lies I've lived
And all this time I had you fooled
Seven years, of pain you'll never
Understand unless you're in my shoes
Do you know what it's like to be scared
Of yourself and what you might do?
Tremble in your darkness
Because I'm dying in mine!

[I was never perfect and know I'll] never
Be anything close to what you've dreamed of me
[Could you cry for me? Because I'll] never show you
Anymore (this is the last time)

You would've never known
Unless I wrote you such a
Suicidal note
You would've never known
Unless I wrote you such a
Suicidal note

(Now you're sorry you're sorry)
I don't care

To Her

2009-07-12T00:21:00.000-07:00

After all this time
I'm losing sleep over you
And when I do close my eyes
All I see is you
At first it was fine
I wasn't ready to let go
But now it's getting ridiculous
How long has it been now?
I can't be like this forever
I NEED to let go
And forget you already
For my sake...

My heart's a mess
And I'd like to think
It's all your fault
But it's mine too
Why did I ever fall for you?
It was probably that smile
And the way you laughed
You know, you're so cute,
Even when you're sleeping

(I wonder if you read this
Would you know it was you?)

Because it feels like
All I can do is write to you
Letters that you'll never read
Dedicate
Poetry you'll never feel
Songs I'll never sing
And this is all I can give
Things that will never be

There were days when
I pretended to be alright
And there were days
When I didn't even bother to try

So I wonder
Why did you choose me,
Of all people?

(But I never could
Take my eyes off you)

I don't know the feelings
I had back then
Never really had them again
I started showing off more
Started talking more
To you, of course
I wanted you to look at me
I wanted you to notice me
For once in my life
I actually cared
What someone thought of me
Is that what they call love?
No, couldn't be,
Could it?

So if you ever read this
(I want you to know
I've been thinking of you)
Been wishing you were happy
Been hoping
At least YOU'RE alright

And I want you to know
Despite everything I just said
This probably won't be

The last time

I write to you..

(Can't quite let go of this..)

The Arsonist...He's Dead Now...

2009-07-11T13:24:00.000-07:00

*note: rewrite of The Tragedy of the Arsonist

There was nothing complicated about it
Just a box of matches
Few gallons of gasoline
It was so simple
Surely even he could do it

[Watch it burn!]
[Watch me burn!]

Something sadistic about his smile
Something nervous in his hand
(What's this? Regret?)

[Burn it away!]
[Burn everything!]

(Embers, embers)
Light memories on fire
(Ashes, ashes)
Pain erase pain

Taking pride in the flames
Finding joy in the flames
A sick smile before he burned away

Ironic the sky lamented his sorrow
Shed tears he never could
Yellow suits in red trucks came
And washed away the remains
Lights still flashing
"There's no one inside the building"

She stands alone
No one will move her
Eyes glazed over
Ashes remain

He stole her heart

(The flames took his)

Haunting memories
Twisted him; became
What he never wanted

She wanted to help
She tried to help
She wanted to help

[Burn it away!]
[Burn me away!]
[Burn everything!]
[Everything!]
(To ashes)
The blaze dies
Down...

Shadow

2009-07-09T13:45:00.001-07:00

Darkness
So soothing
Lack color
Lack vision

No pretty faces
No distractions

Just voices
Words spoken
Ideas
Behind them
Blinded
We find our
Identity
In them

No filters or
Prejudice
I think this
Is perfect

(Don't
Bring
The
Light)

[I like it here]

(Don't
Adjust
Your
Eyes)

[How long do I have?]

(Are you scared of the dark?)
[Are you scared of yourself?]

In darkness
We're naked
No lies here
To save us
All the lipstick
And plastic
Pretty worthless
Here in
This darkness

So shed all
Of your fears
No one can
See you here
Don't shed tears
Of sadness
I'm glad that
I have this
No one knows
Who you are
And so they
Can't bring harm
Or even
Begin to
Fathom your

Existence

Even darkness
Isn't perfect
There are those
Who prefer this
Light I find blinding
Light I hate finding
This light only brings
Me reminding

The pain
And the
Suffering
I'd love to
Forget

So darkness please take my
Soul and just swallow
Me in your comfort
[I hate to remember]

(Darkness)
Take me away...

I Hate This

2009-07-09T12:08:00.001-07:00

From when I wake up
To when I fall asleep
Every damn day
Feels the same way
To me

Just routine
These feelings
At rest in my chest
Like there's no point
To anything
Anymore

I feel dead inside
But I'm alive right?

These lungs keep breathing
This heart keeps beating
This damn head keeps dreaming
Fantasizing
Every damn thing I ever wanted
From "this" to that" to "her"
Damn

Rather not remember
Wish I could forget her

And I'm so sick of trying
So sick of dying
Killing myself
Just to meet
The expectations of
Somebody else
And they wonder why I never set
Goals for myself
Well, you already did that for me
Didn't you now?
And if I don't do what they say
Why do I always have to pay?
They waste my time
They waste their voice
With stupid things like
"This is pathetic!
Why don't you try harder?
This isn't your best!
I know you're better than this!"

And all I ever have to say
To them in the least is

...

Nothing

I won't give them that satisfaction
I'll look the other way and pretend I can't hear
Their screaming or their whining
Besides
I never asked for this

But the decision remains
I can do nothing and fail
And stick it in their face
Or succeed and go someplace
So very far away
Or spend some time
To think and figure out
What #3 is

See right here where I'm sitting
In the middle of a sea of lonely
By myself
No one else
Never was
Never will

It's irritating
Right now
I hate myself
Because I can't help it
I'm jealous
I'm angry
Why can't I be happy?
Never meant to be?
Where's the purpose in that?
Where's MY reason to live?
There's this life to give something
But I got nothing
Never had anything
To begin with

And it's hard to explain
This routine because
See it's NOT nothing
I'm feeling angry
Feeling sad
Pitiful, pathetic
Jealous to the point
Where I hate it
Unmotivated
To do
What I
Don't want to

There's a limit to how far I can reach
But they don't understand
Ordinary was never meant to be perfect
But they won't hear it
I'm so sick and tired of this

And this is life
My routine
The thing that's killing me
Because I can't find peace
Not even when i sleep
'Cause she's in my dreams
Everytime
My damn mind
Must be malfunctioning

How many years has it been?
How many words...
For me?
For her?

Damn

I'm so sick and tired of this...

Get Over This

2009-05-11T22:31:00.000-07:00

I saw you everyday
It's gonna be weird when your not there
I'll probably forget you died
For a couple of days at the very least
I could sound insensitive right now
But it's true
It'll probably slip my mind
Because you were there each and every day
And I could say that I'll never forget you
But that would be a lie
Yeah, I'm gonna miss you
And I hope you find peace soon
But I'll move on from this
I have too
But before I go
One last thing
The very last thing
I never got to say
"Rest in peace man.
Goodbye."

Life's Too Sudden

2009-05-10T21:57:00.001-07:00

Life is too cruel
People cry everyday
People die everyday
But why
Oh why
Did it have to be you?
...
I can't take this!
I just saw you yesterday
You were fine
You were smiling
You were breathing
...
I wish I knew what happened
I wish I knew it wasn't your fault
I wish I could turn back the hands of time
Go to where you are
Hold you back from your grave
I wish I could save you
But I can't
Your already dead
...
I never believed in an afterlife
But I never said it wasn't there
And if your up there
If you can hear me
I really hope your happy man
Hope you found peace
Hope you found something
But fuck man
I can't get over this
I feel like I don't want to be close to anyone anymore
I don't wanna see them cry
I don't wanna see them die
If this is life then maybe I don't want to live

(just for fun)

2009-05-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

Do you know how to spell?
Can you spell the color grey?
Do you spell it with an 'e'?
Do you spell it with an 'a'?
I've been asking all around
But all around they sound the same
Can you spell
The color
Gray?

Future

2009-05-06T21:13:00.000-07:00

The heroes
They're dead now
These morals
That we held
Are just dust
In the ground

Six feet under
Our breath we
Feel lost but
Move on
Unsure of
Tomorrow

But so sure of this moment
It makes me sick

I reach my arms
As far as they can
Trying to hold on
To what's lost
But it's never better there
Where we came from
We've moved on
Now we got these problems
Nothing left but to solve them

Our pride never
Saved us our
Lies never
Gave us what
We really
Wanted all
The lipstick
And plastic
Pretty worthless
Never lasted
We're searching
For happy
-Ness or
Something like it

If ignorance is bliss
Let's all be ignorant

We've come pretty far now
Dug our hole pretty deep now
The sky's growing farther away
The night eases off to day
Are we moving forwards
Or in reverse?

All the books we never read
Had no chance of saving dead
It was us who took us down
The fall is ours and no one else
Who's left to blame besides ourselves?
There's no one left: we are dead now!

It was my fault

It was yours too

My Perfect World

2009-05-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

The shadows blend in
Total darkness
Absence
Lack of color
Lack of vision
No faces
Just voices
Maybe then we could listen
No prejudice
Or filters
Voice is identity
The words we speak
The ideas behind them
If we were blind
Maybe then we could see

Come Back Home (I Miss You)

2009-04-12T12:22:00.001-07:00

So I know
Everybody's got a life to live
Everybody's got a chance to give
A gift, so precious
But I can't help it
Just let me be
Here I am
Being selfish

I want you by my side
Through the day and through the night
(I miss you)
And your smile

So won't you please just
(Come, back, home)
Come back, where you belong
And I know
That this might be wrong
And I know that
(I)
Never did
(Nor)
Never will
(Know)
Every single thing in this
(Whole, wide, world)
But I know for certain
For sure
Known ever since before
I started this little
Play on words
For you

I'm just trying to tell you
Short and sweet
Simple and clean
Plain and simple
I miss you

I miss you
Been missin' you
For
(Far, too, long)
And it's hard
When you
Occupy
This song
All along
I always knew
It would come to this
And believe me
I took a chance
But missed

So won't you please just
Won't you please just

[Come back home]
(Come, back, home)
I've been waiting
I'll be waiting
With open arms
[I miss you
Said I miss you]

And today's
Another one
Of those days
The days
When you feel like
You can say
What's on your mind
What you feel

(No hesitation)

I'm taking this chance
To let off my chest
What I've been trying to say
(Dying to say)
Ever since you left
No
I'm not happy with this

And who knew
That I
Would ever
Write like this
Matching every other word
With a different rhyme
'Cause a rhyme scheme
Is too cliche
For me

And these words are flowing
Partly 'cause
Right now
No worry

You've been too far
For too long
And I'm just
Writing you this song
So you won't forget
Where you came from
And I hope you met
Somebody new
And interesting
Maybe we
Can get along
Like nobody else
And I hope for you
The best
And nothin' less
'Cause that's
(Just the way I am)

It's kinda funny
How I keep wishin'
That you're alright
That you're okay
You stick and stay
With it
Make it through
Make a memory
Of it

But at the same time
Wishin' that you just
(Quit)
Hurry back home
Jump into
These open arms
I'll hold you forever
Or until you say so
Whatever the case
I'm just
Tryin' to let you know

(I miss you)

Won't you please just
Oh won't you please just

[Come back home]
(Come, back, home)
I've been waiting
I'll be waiting
With open arms

(I miss you)
Like nothin' else
(I miss you)
Like nobody else

Now it's time
To call it quits
That's a wrap
Tie this away
Final words to say
'Fore I leave
It's okay
I've been waiting
And I'll keep waiting
'Til you come home
Tellin' everyone
That you made it
(I hope you make it)

Just hurry up
[I miss you]
(Come, back, home)

Johnny

2009-04-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

Johnny never lived his dream
Never had a chance
Got drafted, sent to boot camp
Trained about a day
Then it's time to leave

No gun on shoulder
Barely a soldier

And over there
Overseas
Saw terrible things
Watched his best friend die
Right there in his arms
Cried out for help
All he got
Were bullet shells
Dropping to the floor

Bodies piled up
And every face, he knew
Were put in his squad
One day or the other
And now they're dead
Nothin' showin' for it

Well

Johnny came home
And we threw a parade
That lasted less than a day
And after we
Left our separate ways

Johnny served his country
Hooray

But that very same country
Left him out in the dark
Left him for dead
Left him with the nightmares
All the faces with blood
All the bodies dismembered
The bombs still dropping
In Johnny's mind
And they drop
As he screams in the night

Yeah

Johnny got medication
But all it did was
Make Johnny just wasted
Left him with the fear
With the blood on his hands
Left him with the image
Morphine = high demand

And the nightmares
Don't get me started on that
Johnny can't function

Right

In a world
With such bright lights
And every other sound
A bomb to his ears
And now

Johnny's just wasting away
Living every night like
It's the last of his days
He's so sure he'll

(Die tomorrow)

But relives the sorrow

(Everyday)

And now he
Can't live in his home

He worries the children

And his wife remarried

The court took his little kids
In shackles and chains
Gave 'em to people
Who want paid

And Johnny sits there alone
On a park bench and cold
Cop tells him to leave
And Johnny wants

(Just)

To tell him his story
But can't talk right
And the cop won't listen

Johnny's out of a bed
Now he wanders the streets
Not sure what he's looking for

Really needs a home
But nobody wants him

(He's crazy)

Rattling on about
How he served in the army
Served his country
Got home, had a parade
Lasted less than a day
And his wife left him
Court took the kids...

(...No one's listening)

Losing Sight

2009-04-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

So focused on tomorrow
We forgot about today
Past is even further away
Irrelevant to the present
Or so we like to think
And history is set on repeat
Mistake after mistake
We give, then we take
Back what was ours
Take any, it's ours!

Now I don't mean
To be a rebel
But if so
Then that's your label
And I hope really
You revel
In the rubble
I'm about to rain down
From the sky
The very clouds
That hover over us
Every single day

And it's like this
We can't hit
We miss
Because we can't see
The whole world's
One eye blind

I'd like to see you try
To stop your life
Just for a second
Hold your breath
Stop your heart
Watch the leaf fly by
Don't you feel something wrong?
There's a war going on!
People are dying
And we worry about the economy
But nobody
Wants to remember that

Focus on the good times
Let's all lie to ourselves
Make us feel better
Why not?
Give me medication
Make it go faster

The children of tomorrow
Were abandoned today
We left them for dead
They're as bad as the past
Moving on before we ever settled down
But the future is ours!

Keep Breathing

2009-03-16T22:49:00.000-07:00

When everything
Goes wrong
What will you do?
Lay down and die?
Live out your life?
Or will you just cry?
Will you just cry?
[Cry]

[Cry out in the night
Cry out to the sky]
Let loose [all the anger inside]

(Wait until morning)

(For the sirens)

To wake you from
Slumber, peaceful dreams,
Happy memories

(Here is reality)

(D'ya see what I see?)
No

When everything goes wrong
What will you do?
Lay down and die?
Will you just cry?
Live out your life?
Live out your life!
(To the fullest)

[We're
Worth so much more
More than this
Empty days
Lonely nights]

Hold me close

[I want to
Take your hand]

And show something

[You've never seen before]

Enter my world
And I swear
You'll be amazed
By the first breath
Keep breathing in (in)

Keep breathing in (live)

When everything goes wrong
I hope you live your life
Don't you dare
Lay down and die
Don't you dare
Lay down and die on me
Don't die on me
[Don't die on me]

When everything goes wrong
You better live
(Keep breathing)

I'll Save Myself

2009-03-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

[I don't
Want to be saved]
If it means
Giving up
On me
[I'll find a way through this]
[Find a way
Find my way]
My own
Way

(I don't
Want this)
Your shining hand
Offered to my stoic face
[I'll shove it away
Turn you away]

Call me stubborn
Call me [crazy]
Call me anything you want
[To hear]

I'm determined
Determined to find a way
(I can call my own)
Find a way
[I tried]

That's yours
[Not mine]

Salvation never
Sounded so empty
(I don't want your)

[Fragile words]
They cut
So deep
Blood flow forth
(Drain me)

How can I believe
What you force
[On me?]

I
Can't take (this)
Anymore

I
Can't take (this)
Anymore
Anymore
No more
[No more]

My path
(Deviates)
From dancing (angelic)
White feathers
My path
(Deviates)
From the shadows
(That fall from the sky)
My path
Walks alone
Tries to learn
(Tries to know)

Still searching
Searching
For the reasons

I want to know

(Why?)

(Why?)

How can I believe?

I want to know

(Why?)

(Why?)

What you force on me?

I'll save myself

[I'll find it
Find it on my own]

I'll save myself

[Why?]

I'll save my
Self...

Tell it

2009-03-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

All the kids
In my life
Had their own voice
And weren't afraid
To say what was on their mind
In fact we'd shout from all the high places
"Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out!"
Yeah, we'd shout until the night faded to day
And we'd say
"We are We are
The youth of the nation"

Each and every one of us
Is different
Unique and special
We're individuals
Capable of anything
We set our minds to
From the grand master schemes
To the little things like
"I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars"

We're out to disprove their fact
That "In the end
It doesn't even matter"
And while we fight
We struggle
"We give it all"
But still...

We need some support
Someone to lean on
If it all falls down
"Promise me you will be there
Until the red light will change"
At least
At the very least
The bare minimum
But can you even give me that?
Or will you hold out
Wait to see the fallout
But by then
I'm out of air
Or would you care?

Yeah, we're imperfect,
But don't you dare say we're worthless
Cause I know for a fact
When these lives collide
A new idea comes to life
And breathe tomorrow
Another day
To say
How much we appreciate
The little things
No one else can see
But we
We know better
Cause we're there

"I'm not okay"
And that's fine because
This life isn't perfect by design

Identity

2009-03-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

I
Wear my heart on my sleeve
But you're telling me
To take it off
Tear if off
Rip it out
And I keep trying, trying so hard
But it's stuck, stapled to my arm
But you bleed
You fight
You try
To stay on top of the game
Stay cool
Be cool
But it's never one in the same
Because it keeps changing up, day to day
Almost about as often and fast as the time
That blows by you, the past
Every single of day your lifetime
And when you're there
It's never permanent
Because it's impossible
You can't keep up
You won't last

So
Give me the world with no logos
No tags
No groups no clicks no demographics
Just give me the masses
People who want to learn to love to live

I'm telling you
Take the kids out of factories
Let 'em know what fresh air is

I don't need you
Or anybody else telling me
What to wear
How to act
Or who to be
Please
You don't even know me
Not the first thing
That anyone with eyes can see
I'm me
Just me
No one else in the world exactly like me
But damn
We can get pretty close
But not exactly the same thing
We got our own names

We're different
And it doesn't take much
To know this,
But you persist
And insist
That you can dictate the trend
When people don't give in (so easily)

And I told you
Before any of this mess ever started
That you should just roll with it
This is no physics
The outcome can't be predicted

We're alive
We keep changing
The passing of time
Is
The only thing the same
Until we change even that
Oh, wouldn't that be the day?

We got faces
Let's see 'em
There's no need to hide
Our identity isn't our clothes or cash or cars
But who we know we are on the inside
And it's sad to see
That some people can't even tell
The difference between you and me
They group us up
And say "they're all the same"
But really,
Who's the one to blame

I'm tired of everyone's ignorance
There's things we'll never understand
But that doesn't mean we don't need to explain
If we just tell each other what we really need
Then there'd be no reason to feign innocence

And
That's the beauty of being human
We learn to live and grow
But it'll never happen if you don't try
Because some people just wait to die
And I hope you aren't one
There's a crowd to join and follow
But I'm more interested in tomorrow

Tell it to the market analysts
Treating us teens like sheep
Herding us together to sell us "hot"
And in a few days it'll be "not"
It's not like they care about you
Don't give me that look you know it's true
The money is all they want
But I'm getting out
Because I can't stand the noise

Give me the world with no logos no tags no fads no trends no fashion even
Because all I really care about is who I am as a person
I don't need you telling me who I am
Or what I want, or what I need
I'll be who I choose to be
Because you don't know the anything about me
I'll even give you a hint
I like to breathe

"Your soul is alive but they want it from ransom."

It Hurts

2009-03-01T21:09:00.001-08:00

I know now you never felt that way
About me
But do you know what it's like?
Loving with no return
Foolish feelings don't seem to fade
What was I to you?
Just a friend?
Right?
It hurts
Because
Right now,
I can't let go
There's a thing we humans have
It's called hope
It's what pulls us through
The brink of despair
It's why we live
We hope for a better tomorrow
And that's keeping you here
In my heart
It's been broken
Torn up
Shred to pieces even
But hope pulls it back together
And you're still here
Nothing makes sense right now
And I'd make a fool of myself
For you
But
This feeling
Won't fade

It's Not That I'm Not Grateful...

2009-02-20T18:30:00.000-08:00

It's just that sometimes I wonder...

Father
Let me be selfish for a bit
Tell me
Why do you try so hard?
Why do you care
About what I do
Or who I'm with?
I haven't done anything for you!
Tell me
Tell me why
Is it some sort of pride?
Or do you feel responsibility?
Is it your duty?
Or a distorted sense of honor?
You're not forcing me to eat
You just leave the food on the table
I think my door keeps you out
Because you don't knock when I close it
You don't come in unannounced
You don't search and seize
You just talk to me
I hear you
But I'm not listening
But you just talk
What am I worth to you?
Don't say the world
Please
I don't deserve it
...
You know
Your kindness hurts sometimes

Whirlwind

2009-02-19T17:03:00.000-08:00

My heart is a whirlwind
Of mistakes
Memories
Regrets
Dreams
Love
Loss
Fears
Joys
Nightmares
And what if's

They circle around
In the most vicious of winds
Sharp as thorns
Cutting my insides

I feel like I'm dying
From the anxiety of tomorrow
And what it brings
Because I'm forced to let go
Of yesterday's dreams
And face today's realities
Bracing for pain
That remains timeless

The whirlwind spins outward
And grows to envelop my body
The winds so thick they block my vision
Force so strong they distort the voices
I can't make out what they're saying anymore
They're just...noise
Someone's there
But who is it?
Are they for me?
Are they against me?
Do they even care?

It's not what can I be?
It's what will I be?
If I have the potential
Doesn't that frighten
Anyone else but me?
There's light within me
To compliment the darkness
Who's to say one won't
Overtake the other
Along with my heart?

But for now the winds are blowing
Stronger than ever
I sense change
But I'm not sure
If it's for the better
All I know is that the wind is blowing
Raging in my ears
There's noise in the background
All I see are figures
Distorted shadows
But all I really know for sure
Is that I'm stuck in the eye
Of a whirlwind
That has the potential to destroy
Or just disperse...

We're Mixed, Yet So Messed Up

2009-02-03T22:24:00.000-08:00

All the colors are smeared
Across the faces of the people
We know no longer a "pure"
Yet we still try
With dark secrets beneath the surface
And filters in full effect
To limit them below our vision
Drive them below our aspirations
But we were raised with a bar to reach
A bar to exceed
To extend our reach far beyond anything
We imagined through the mysteries of our dreams
So why do we try to do what we've hated
For so many generations
Why do we work so hard to make ourselves shine
At the expense of the potential of our future?

What to Believe

2009-01-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I saw a man on the street
He wasn't dead beat or tired
Dressed in jeans and other attire
White beard pretty clean, eyes unfrozen
Nothing out of place, nothing broken
He was holding a sign in black ink
"Homeless. No casa. Please help me."
And I sat in the car, passenger seat
Thinking
Wondering whether or not to believe
The story he told, or was it just a lie?
Judging whether or not to buy this for real
Driver just turned the wheel
Ignored him
Because
We've seen so many things in our lives
A lot of half-truths, just plain lies
Everybody tries to get theirs for free
And I've grown cold to those around me
I don't feel sorry for him because he looked
Perfectly fine, get out, get a job, dollar or dime
It's crazy
We're so dependent on medication
That we don't know the meaning of dedication and
Hard work
Too lazy to utter an "erk"
Keep moving along, passing by, gone...

Lying Little Pill

2009-01-02T23:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sick and tired
Of trying to be alright
I'm not okay
Not okay

But you don't believe
You won't believe
Say you can't ever
Believe me

Swallow the pill
It'll make you better
(You're such a liar)

I'm trying to tell you
Been trying to tell you
But you're impossible
To talk to

It figures...

The one person
I'm supposed to talk to
Won't even listen to me

You call it excuses
But I'm trying to help myself
Trying to find an answer
Without asking questions
Because you're no help

Swallow the pill
It'll make you better
(You're such a liar)

There's plenty more
Left to say
But even these
Won't reach you...

Hate Me

2009-01-02T23:08:00.000-08:00

[You hate me
I hate me
So who's left
To join in the fun?]

[You hate me
I hate me
So who's
Left?]

Where is my (joy)
Where is my escape
(Why can't I)
Ever seem to be
The one
(You want)

[I'm not perfect
You're not perfect
They're not perfect
But perfect
Is what you want]

[We're not perfect
It don't exist
But perfect
Is all you want]

(Perfection)
An illusion
(Perfection)
I hate it
(Like me)

[But still you scream
You scream
At me]

I'm no mistake
No mistake

I'm just me
Just me the me I want to be

[Why don't you open
Open your eyes
Stop acting blind
I know you can see
Stop lying
Stop trying]

You blame me
(For yourself)
You blame me
(For myself)
You blame me
(For anything)
You blame me
(For everything)

[I can't take anymore]

...

If you cut me
And I cut me
How many cuts will it take?
Will I bleed?
Will I die?
Will you see?
Will you try?

[Take this blade]
Cut me deep
(Maybe I'll)
Finally feel
Something
(From you)
Be it pain
Or pain

[All that you ever gave me]

I hate me
(Cut me deep inside)
You hate me
(You finally gave me)
Something to feel
[Pain]
All that you give
All that you give

I'm not perfect
(You're no better)
Stop dreaming (because)
I'll never be
(Who you want me to be)

I'm just me
(Just me)
Just me
(Just me)
I'm just
Me

[Someone we can all hate]

Waiting to Fly

2008-12-23T23:01:00.000-08:00

Even after the years fly by
And we grow older
Will you ever understand?

The pain you cut
So deep in me
The nights you watched me bleed
Watched me scream
You heard nothing
It was written on your face
In a shade darker than black
I've gone numb from this hurt
Jaded

When we take a turn for the worse
And death shows its face
Will you ever think of me
In the light?

The tears I've shed
I'll never show you
Because you wouldn't see me
you're blind to my suffering
Oblivious in your own perfect LITTLE world

I wasn't born as perfect
Because there's no such thing as perfection
But you just keep trying
Keep believing in NOTHING

I feel like I've wasted my time here
My life
But there's nowhere else to go
Because I haven't found it yet
I've grown my wings
Just wait until I learn to fly
My day
My time

Not Very Receptive

2008-12-16T22:49:00.000-08:00

I will never say the words you want to hear
I don't have them in me
Search all you want
They were ripped from my chest
And burned to ashes

There's nothing that will birth the sound
The bittersweet touch
The uncertainty that you crave
There's nothing in my chest
Nothing that excites me
There's a hole
A dark, empty whole
I'm probably missing something there
But I'll never find
I don't want it
I don't need it

Your eyes are bleeding
Clear streams, inconsistent streams
Why are you still here?
There's nothing for me here
There's nothing for you here
There's no one here
I don't exist
I just pass by

Lost Hope

2008-12-16T22:45:00.001-08:00

I have no joy to tell you
I have no good news
I don't come in peace
I break it
Tear it to pieces

This cold glaze in my eyes
Isn't meant for friends
So why would you try?
No one bothers with me
I don't bother with them
I don't need...them...

I swear the shadows dance around me
They whisper to me
They scream at me
They grab me by the heart
And choke me to death
Only to bring me back
To do it all again

There's nothing left for me to believe in
I refuse
There's no one here for me
Abandoned
Again
Not again
It's only again
Silence is all that I crave now
I've acquired a distaste for company

These were built for resisting
Locks were made for solitude
Doors aren't mirrors
I don't have to see myself
My shadow is my reflection
I don't need a face anymore
No one cares about me
I don't care about...them...

I'm just a voice
Echoing somewhere
Maybe it's the wind
Maybe it's my ghost...

It Only Goes Down From Here

2008-12-16T22:42:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling dark today
So get that light out of my face
Before I drag you down with me
How would you like that?
The shadows will devour you whole
And nothing will remain
But your bare bones
Could you face yourself in the mirror then?
Could you live without the plastic?

I'm feeling alone today
So get away from me
I'll lock you out
Of my room
Of my heart
Of my life
Stay away
No one will enter
I won't leave
Never

I'm feeling agitated today
Just try me
I dare you
I double dare you
Try it
And see what happens

You're No Support

2008-12-16T22:21:00.001-08:00

I cried out for help
And you yelled at me
Yelled at me
YELLED AT ME!!!

If I could stop this
Don't you think I would?
Do you think I'm so stupid?
Don't lie to
LIE TO ME!!!
Tell me
What you think
What I think you think
What I know you think

If I could explain
These inexplicable noises
Do you think I like this?
I was never perfect
We were never perfect
You swear I want this
I never wanted
Never wanted it
Never wanted this

Tear me apart
Cut out the wrong
What's wrong with me?
WHAT'S WRONG!!!

Why
Can't
I

Let me be
Let me by
Let me be
Let me by

You'll never know
How much it hurts
To hear your words
Stabbing me
Constantly

You'll never
Understand
My pain
No matter how hard you try
You'll never try
To see my side
No
You'll never try
Just yell at me
YELL AT ME!!!

I'm crying
Crying

I'm dying
Dying

Forgive a Failure, Friend

2008-11-30T22:29:00.000-08:00

We hung out all day
Had fun all night
Thinking everything
Would be alright
(That's never enough)
I never told you anything
Never shared a secret
Never trusted you
(That way)

But as we stand here today
About to go our separate ways
(I'm dying to say)

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

(I never defended you)

We'll lie to ourselves
And promise
To
Keep in touch
(But never will!)

And someday
You'll forget
Me
And I'll do the same
To
You
We'll drift apart
(Further away)

And maybe you
Will see my name
In the
Paper
And remember
What we
Used to play
But I'll be
Just a thought
(Not all you've got)

I'll be dying (inside)
So slowly
(Regret) regret
(Go away)

Go away

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I never defended you
(Enough)
I never defended you
(Ever)
I'm a failure
(As a friend I failed you)
This
Is the
End
(I'm sorry to death)

There were days
When they stabbed you in the back
And you weren't there
I never stopped them
(Instead)
I joined them

I hated you
I hate me more

(And everyday
I wish)
I could

Turn back the time
And stop myself

But no such thing
As a time machine
(Regret go away!)

I never defended you
Never defended you

Maybe one day
So very far away
I'll have the courage
To come to your door

And spill my guts out
For you to see
A secret (a secret)
I'll
Tell you

(I never defended you)
Ever

And you'll
Hate me for a day
Hate me for a year
Hate me until
You feel
Better

Go ahead
Do the same to me
I don't care
Let's call it even

Hate me
Until
You feel better
I don't care
I'll feel better when
This is over
(Even)
Again

Hate me for a day
Hate me for a year
Until you feel
Better

I'm dying to say
I'm sorry
(I'm sorry)
I'm dying to turn
Back
Time

I never defended you
(I'm a)
I never defended you
(I'm a)
Failure...

Enter Free Fall

2008-11-23T12:16:00.000-08:00

What led you
To this
Distress?

You don't wait for sirens

You bleed by
Your hands

He'll fall
From the heavens
Or twenty stories up
Close enough
He'll take it
And drop

His heart is racing
Pumping adrenaline
Through his veins
He won't feel a thing

But before he lands
Face first
On cement
He can't breathe

Goodbye cruel world
Goodbye cruel world

But the cell phone in his pocket
He doesn't hear it
He can't hear it
He's dead
One missed call
One new voicemail
"Please don't die.
Please don't die."
She cries
She's crying
And it won't stop there

They gather around
A mangled mess of flesh
And bone
They don't care

He made front page
Top story
Without a name
Just an age
A gender
A race
They don't care
We don't care

But he's dead
And she'll suffer for it

Investment

2008-11-20T22:07:00.000-08:00

I've been waiting
For so long
This moment
My moment
Please, let it be worth it
I can't be
Worthless

I'm not the same
After all these years

I'm better now
I think
I'm better now
I feel

All the ink I've bled
All the pain I've shed
Been adding interest

The future is fading
In my dreams
I'm chasing
Been chasing
For so long
Haven't caught it yet
But my moment
Right now
Let it be worth it

It better be...

Awake and Afraid

2008-11-20T22:02:00.000-08:00

Stay awake
Stay awake

Beware my child
The end is coming soon

Be afraid
Be afraid

Nothing is ever
What it seems to be

Stay awake
Be afraid

Be wary of the lies
They will sell to you

Be afraid
Stay awake

(Keep your eyes vigil)
So that you can see

(When the time comes)
What we are
[Truly
Beneath]
This skin that keeps us
(Hidden so well)
From the world
[We never wanted]

Bottle

2008-11-08T18:40:00.000-08:00

So bottle me up
Keep myself inside
Far away from the world

Am I saving you?
Or am I
Saving myself?
From the darkness
Those demons that never cease
To scream my innermost
Murder intent
The things so terrible
So terrible there's no words
To describe them
Blood is only the beginning

Am I running from you?
Or am I
Running from myself?
Breaking mirrors because of
That smile they flash me
One sadistic and unnatural
One never meant for this world
I surround myself in light
But it just fades away
The shadows overcome
The shadows creep closer
Closer to me
Close enough
Too close...

Can I trust you?
Can I trust myself?
Can I trust you?
Can I trust myself?
Can I trust you?
Can I trust myself?
Can I trust you?
Can I trust you?

Keep these chains locked tight
Swallow the key
Bury me six feet below
Cover me up
With pretty words

Force of Habit

2008-11-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

Heavy breathing
Frozen rain
Broken sidewalks
(Faulty)
Street(lights)
Light my way
To somewhere
(Anywhere)
Far away
(From here)

And it's just like me to
(Run)
It's just like me to
(Run away)
[So far away]
The distance exceeds
[Your innersight]

Sever me from
The ties
These machines bind
Sever me from
The ties
These machines [bind me by]

I wanted to breathe
But not like this
Not like this

Count on it (Bet on it)
I ran then
I'll run now
Don't believe in me
(No)
Don't believe in me
I'll let you [down
So far below
The surface
Darkness awaits]

[So far below
The surface
Darkness]

(Come get me)

(Come get me)

Come get me
[Darkness]
Come get me
[Darkness]
Let me hide
(Fade)
Just
Dis
A
Ppear

[Darkness]

Shatter

2008-11-02T19:53:00.001-08:00

You
(Would)
Ne(ver)
[Know]

The pain
(I feel)
[It cuts me inside
Tears me to pieces]
(Puts me together)
To do it all again

(The lies)
We buy
(The lies)
We swallow
(Just) [another trend
Your face will
Fade away
Soon enough]

(The shadows)
They call to me
(Hold me close)
Keep me safe
[Fight fear with a darkness]
(I am)
[Just a shadow
Just a shadow to you]

The mirror
(It haunts me)
[Break it to pieces]
Years of bad luck?
(Just ordinary)
Pathetic
(Shatter)

Shatter!

[Can you hear it?
Can you hear me
Screaming]

[Can you hear it
Can you hear me
Spilling]
(Me)

[Shatter]
Me
[Shatter]
Me
[To pieces]
To pieces!

Washed away
Down the drain
(Forgotten)

Dive

2008-10-31T16:59:00.001-07:00

So dive right in
(Head first) thousand feet below
(The surface)
Move to the motion (of the waves)

They want a face
(Give them a smile)
So fake that it hurts
[Put it on
Smear it
Take it off]

Dive right in
(A thousand feet below)
The surface

[Lock it away]
Your heart
(The hurt)
Dull the pain
Dull the edges
Of those words
(So empty)
[You're bleeding]

(Head underwater)
Move to the motion
Of the waves

But you're so much deeper
[Deeper than this]
Shallow waters
[Leave them]
Shallow waters
[Leave them]
Take a risk
(Drown in yourself)

[So dive right in]
(Head first) thousand feet below
(The surface)
[Swim against the current]
At your own pace

Just go deeper than that
(Go deeper than this)
You're deeper than this
(So much deeper than this)

Let Go

2008-10-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not who you want me to be
And I never will be
Just
Go away
I'm letting go
Because I'm tired of this
Disappear

To See

2008-10-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

I
Want to see
For myself
[You
Never
Said
Why]
(You just said)
That I had to learn
(Had to listen)
To your words
(Unfounded though) they were
[Spitting your lies]

Take me
Somewhere (far away)
Where your
Greedy
Fingers
[Can't reach]
(And) I
[Only want]
To see
[For myself]
Is that
(So hard
To) understand?

Your words
(Never made)
Any sense
(Useless)
Syllables
(I hear)

Are we
[So far]
Apart
[That we]
Can't un-
[-derstand]
(Each other?)

[I
Hate you
I hate
You
I hate you
Swallow] (your) lies

(Do you believe
That you are the
Only one to
Ever breathe?)
Well I've got
News for you
[Wake up
From
Your
Pity!]

Take me
Somewhere (far away)
Where your
Greedy
Fingers
[Can't reach]
(And) I
[Only want]
To see
[For myself]
Is that
(So hard
To) understand?
[Is it?]

Breakaway

2008-10-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

You will never
[Understand]
How I felt
[Locked up
In this cage]
(I'd like to think for myself)
[I'm not your slave
Let me be]

My future
Is mine to hold
[Mine alone]
The tables
Have turned (on you)
[Do you see now?]
The problems
(Created)
Left unsolved
[The pain you dealt]
(Scars will never fade)

I'm not your toy
Not your (experimental) [game]
This is life is (mine)
[Mine alone]
I'm not your slave
Leave me be

Why should
[I save
You?]
(You've only) given me
Memories
I want to
[Forget]
(Bury them in this place)
Where nothing
Lives

My future
Is mine to hold
[Mine alone]
(You will never)
Understand
[The pain I felt]
Locked up inside this cage
[I'd like to]
Think for myself
(You will)
[Never]
Understand

Vulnerable

2008-10-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

[Where is my]
Happy ending
[How am I]
Supposed to breathe?
(Been trying, been trying)

My heart skips beats
[When I hear]
Those words

(Three)
Three
[Just three]

But there's no princess to save
No heroine (heroine)
[I can't be]
(A hero)

No

No pain to kill
No suffering [suffering]
(And it's only 5 past 2)
A
M

(And)
Just wondering [wondering]
Will I (ever) be
[The one]
She wants
[To hold?]

Here's a secret to listen to
I hope you're someone
(I can) confide (in)
The truth is reality
[Haunts me]
Every step
(I take)
Every breath
(I make)

There's no princess to save
No castle
To take her away (from)
There's no hero
(In me)
I've been trying [been dying]to see
Just what this life could be
Just what this life could mean
(And yet) the tears fall [inside]

Fall to bed with eyes shut
So tight no one can see
I'm crying [been crying] (for so long)

(I'm trying) [been trying] It's funny how I can't see
(I'm crying) [been crying] Clear with so many tears in my eyes
(I'm dying) [been dying] It's funny how just watching
(I'm trying) [been trying] Got me thinking so
(I'm crying) [been crying] Now fall asleep with eyes open
(I'm dying) [been dying] Still watching, still waiting
(I'm trying) [been trying] For a reason to dream
(I'm crying) [been crying] For a reason to keep
(I'm dying) [been dying] This heart, open

And I feel like falling apart
Wide awake just to feel the pain
So I would know to breathe (but how?)
[Something's wrong!
Feeling vulnerable!]
Like a leaf would just tip me over
[I'm falling! Falling down!]
Into the darkest depths of despair
(Lock it and swallow the key)
Hide this heart away where no one else can see
[Keep them outside!
Never let them in!
Keep your heart locked tight!
Never feel, never feel again!]

There's no princess to save
No castle to take her away from
(How do I breathe?)
[And it takes just three]
Words to break
The locks and chains
Wound (so tight) around my heart

No storybook ending for me
I've been waiting [every breath]
Waiting [every step]
Reality
(Just go)
Someplace so far, far away

[Feeling so]
Vulnerable
[So]
Vulnerable
[Fragile hands]
Keep this heart
(Together)

*a lot but I'm just spilling my heart on paper here.

Just...

2008-10-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

It's funny how
I'd love to be selfish
Just for an instant
Almost funny
To tears

It's so laughable
How I
[Lust
To scream
At the top
Of my lungs]
(And yet no one
Would) listen
To my screams
[Into sirens]

Writing the lyrics
To a song
You'll never (hear)
[I won't
Sing a
Word]
No you will never
(Hear)
You will never
(Hear
From
Me)

I'd love to
Tell the tale
Of this (sorrow)
Wallow in despair
[Wallow in pity]

It's absolutely
[Hysterical]
So humorous
How I long to be
(What I'll never be)
[Human]
How do you do it?

Writing the lyrics
To a song
You'll never (hear)
[I won't
Sing a
Word]
No you will never
(Hear)
You will never
(Hear
From
Me)

The nights were never
So comforting
(Subtle frost)
Chills my skin
(To crawl)
I lay uneasy
Mouthing words
With no melody
[No melody]

[I won't sing a word]
Lyrics to song
(You will) never hear
[Never]
(No melody)
[Silently]
I still
Waste paper
On (just a dream)
[Of mine]

Wait for Winter

2008-10-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

I love the cold
The winter
Autumn a little
But mostly the cold

The frigid
The frost
The numbness of it all

I can freeze myself
Freeze these tears in ice
Freeze my heart solid
Keep it together
Keep myself together

Watch each breath
Escape my lips
My skin can crawl
Scared a little
Scarred a little

My body goes numb
And I can't feel
What I never wanted to

But then the summer comes
Spring
The sun

I lay ruined
My beloved
Frozen walls
Ice turned to water
Slipping away
Fading
My heart beats again
I can't see my breath
Tears blend with water

I wait for the sun to fall
Wait for the night
To bring back winter's chill
Sate my desire for frost
I wait
For winter

It's In The Paper

2008-10-06T16:01:00.000-07:00

Do we know what truth is?
Can we see the light?

All I see is darkness
Lies for our headlines
The rumor mill is spinning
The wounds, they just keep spilling
Blood for their ink

Digging deeper into wounds
Scars never fade
They defile your past
And bury your future
All for someone to read
Make some profit off of your pain

Barter

2008-10-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

Anyone want to trade lives?
Maybe some tragedy for a broken heart?
My "ordinary" for your difference
I'll trade you my scars
Or how about some regrets?
I see you have pain to offer
Got any spare memories?
I got some shattered hopes
And impossible dreams
Which one would you like?
I'll trade you my bliss for your ignorance
Here I don't want her memory
I'll throw that in for free
Will you come back for more?

So What If I Don't Make Sense to Myself

2008-09-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

(Why)
Do you run
[So far away?]
(From me)
[Are you afraid]
Of my darkness?
[Are you afraid]
Of this light
That shines
(So faint?)
[This rose]
That dies
[Petals] (wither away)

Wait for
The sun
(To rise)
[Again]
Fade the
Day to
(White)
Maybe then (you can see)
Maybe then (you could breathe)

Or would you rather
Have the ravens
[Flood
The
Sky?]
Paint it black
[Make it night]

(And why)
Do you run
[So far away?]
(From me)
[Are you afraid]
Of my darkness?
[Are you afraid]
Of this light
(That shines)
So faint?
[These flames]
That die
(Fall to ashes)

[I hope]
You will
[But I know]
You won't
[And I hope]
You will
[But I know]
You won't

(Ever)

This love that [dies]

(Never)

I don't
Make sense
[To myself]
I don't
Make sense
[To myself]

Hope for the Best

2008-09-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

(I can't feel you breathing)
I can't feel you breathe in
(I can't feel you breathe in)

Follow
(My finger)
Side to side
Follow
(My finger)
Side to side

[Don't
Lose
Hope]
I can't go on like this
[Don't
Lose
Hope]
I can't move on like this

Hear the sirens
(Rushing down the street)
Your fragile
(Hands)
Lose grip in
(Mine)
Hear the sirens
(Rushing down the street)
You fragile
(Hands)
Hold on

I place my trust (in the)
Pale doors
(Of the ambulance)
[I hope] you'll be okay
I place my trust (in the)
Pale doors
(Of the ambulance)
[I hope]

Stronger

2008-09-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

Thank you for never believing in me
Never trusting
Never loving
Yeah, thank you for not caring
Where would I be
If it weren't for you?
Oh, I don't know
Somewhere better
For sure
Thanks for thinking I'm lazy
Thanks for never watching
Never looking for
Never seeing me for me
I do more things
Than you would ever know
Thanks for telling me
I'm wasting my time
Throwing my life away
Yeah, I figured you would never
Understand
This life is complicated
But I like it
It's mine
So thank you
For never believing in me
Without you
I'll be that much stronger

Forget Fantasy

2008-09-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

How many years (has it been)
Since (I saw you?)
I wish you (well)
And I know(I will)
Never be your one (your only)
But is it so wrong (to dream?)
Dream along
(A playful) fantasy
(One that will)
Never be (real)
How many hours (have you) plagued my mind?
How many words (are meant) for you?
I wish you (the best) it can be
I wish you (the best) life (possible)
Knowing that (I)
Will never (be)
You one (your true only)
And I can't help
(But dream along)
A hopeless (fantasy)
For you (my first) only
Please just (forget me)
Forget me
(Maybe then) I could
(Follow you)
Maybe then (I could)
Forget you (forget you)
I wish (I could) just
Forget (my) fantasy

Different Me

2008-09-07T00:24:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm being pushed
Farther and farther away
We fight a lot more
Than we used to
I doubt she even cares
About what I think anymore
I think I hate her
But she's my mother
I owe her my life
But I've been thinking
Way too much time
On my hands
Would I really be happier
Somewhere else,
Born to someone else?
Would I be happier
If I was a different me?

Navy Reserve

2008-09-04T18:34:00.000-07:00

A Navy reserve
Is called to active duty
He's leaving soon

That's what he told us
9That's what he told me)
But it was all I could do
To keep myself from screaming
[WHY!?]

Why do you fight their wars?
Why do you give your life?
(They're the cause)
(They're the fault)
Why fight the war [unjustified?]

Is it patriotism that drives you?
(Is it honor?)
Is it a [blind] conception of [pride?]

[Why?]
Why?
[Why?]
Why?
[Why?]
Why?
[Why?]

Is he just another one
(To them?)
A number
(Not a name)
A soldier
(Not a being)
[A soldier]

[Tragedy]
Casualty
[Stay away]
No grave for him
No graves today

Oh 8

2008-09-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

What does a teenage pregnancy
Have to do with his election?
It's already settled
And really
Where hasn't that
Happened before?

And I thought we dreamed
Of a better world
Where a man wasn't judged
Based on his skin
But on his character
His character

And let's not forget
The words we said
Women are equal
Equal to men

What's wrong with this picture?
Someone please explain

What's so wrong with
Trying to earn a living?
A better life
To help the family
I've heard what they say
But
The jobs you'll never do
The jobs you'll never do

And what happened to
Alternatives?
Ever heard of ethanol?
Harness the power
Of the wind
Solar eclipse

What's wrong with this picture
I see?

Someone please
Explain
It to me
There's something wrong
What's wrong here?

Are we still fighting that war?
Are they still not home yet?

Danger! (Exaggeration)

2008-08-31T15:40:00.001-07:00

Don't stray
Stay inside
There's too much shit in the air to breathe
Stay inside
Away from the UV rays
They cripple your skin
Don't drink the water
Poison to your veins
Don't eat the food
Early coffin
Don't think for yourself
I know best
Listen to me
I don't know you
Listen to me
I know best
Don't choose for yourself
Who knows what could happen
If you had freedom?
Who knows what could happen
If you lived a life
Live this lie
It's better
I know
It's the best
I don't know you
Listen to me

Apology

2008-08-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

It breaks my heart
(To know)
She wouldn't care
(No)
She'd never know
(I'm gone)

If I were to die today
What would my
Last words be?
(An apology)

I'm sorry
(To have never met you)
I'm sorry
(To have never loved you)
I'm sorry
(To have never held you)
I'm sorry
(Sorry)

If I could still write
I'd write to her
(My one)
My only
Somewhere
(Somewhere)
Out there

I hope she's not waiting
I hope she's still breathing

But maybe it's better
(This way)
To have never loved
To have never lost
(Maybe it's better)
If we don't know
Each other's faces
(Faces)
We can keep
Dreaming

If I were to die
(Today)
My last words
Would be

I'm sorry
(To have never met you)
I'm sorry
(To have never loved you)
I'm sorry
(To have never held you)
I'm sorry
(Sorry)

From my heart
To hers
(Find a way)
To touch her
To tell her

I'm sorry
To have never
(Known you)

Promise

2008-08-20T17:38:00.000-07:00

Can you promise me?
(Everything will be all right)
(Everything will be all right)
Don't lie to me
(Lie to me)
Don't lie to me
(Lie to me)
Can you promise me?
(Everything will be all right)
Everything will be all right

Would you know if I told you?
The pain...

Main Street

2008-08-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

Main Street
A perfect picture
(Of beauty)
Main Street
Where everyone
(Gets along)
Main Street
Where peace and
(Harmony exist)
Main Street
What a lie
(We buy)

[(Give me the Main Street)]
With graffiti on the walls
[(Give me the Main Street)]
With broken, bloody sidewalks
[(Give me the Main Street)]
Where strangers sell the sins
[(Give me the Main Street)]
That's swallowed by the night

[There's no such thing]
As perfect harmony
[We only want]
What looks like the best
[The lies we buy]
The lies we swallow

(Our)
Bright
(Neon)
Lights

Can't
Shine
(For)
E
[Ver]

A false memory
[We won't (remember)]

[(Give me the Main Street)]
With graffiti on the walls
[(Give me the Main Street)]
With broken, bloody sidewalks
[(Give me the Main Street)]
Where strangers sell the sins
[(Give me the Main Street)]
That's swallowed by the night

We want to believe
We'd like to think
Everything
(Is alright)
Everything
(Will be okay)

(Our hearts are broken)
(Our dreams are shattered)

Don't lie to me!
Don't tell me
[Everything]
Will be alright!
[We're, not, okay!]

And this is
(Reality)
Where we
[Hate to live]
[On, Main, Street]
It's only a dream

(Give me something real)

Depression is Set on Repeat

2008-08-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

It's easy to get depressed
When there's no one
To hold
To talk to
It's so easy to get depressed
When the night is so cold
When you're so alone
I'm calling out
And not even hearing
My own echo
The night swallows it whole
The night swallows me whole
It's the easiest thing
To be depressed
When your dreams are shattered
There's no hope for repair
When your heart's a mess
It's broken
Lost
Confused
Yet still hoping
It's easy to get depressed
When you feel empty inside
When you've lost all meaning
When the words you write
Stop making sense
The ink spills in circles again
It's so easy to get depressed
When you keep dreaming of her
The one you can't have
It's the easiest thing
To get depressed
Your day goes dark
Over the smallest thing
That brings back the haunting memory
Of everything you've lost
Of everything you ever dreamed for
Hope is crippling
Holding out for something to happen
Holding out for eternity
It's only hope
It's nothing
It's the easiest thing
To get depressed

Five Years

2008-08-15T12:55:00.001-07:00

Five years from now
Will you know me?
Maybe I'll be famous
Or just another face in the crowd

Five years from now
Will the world end?
Is it our apocalypse?
Blood spilled for black gold
Will we be that desperate?

Five years from now
Will I know me?
Will I be somewhere?
Will I be with someone?
Will I look at this
And know who I was?

Homeless

2008-08-13T16:31:00.000-07:00

Ever been alone?
(Ever been afraid?)
Ever been abandoned?
(Ever been alone?)
Have you
Ever seen
(Just)
Sunrise
(Just)
Sunset
Ever been alone?
(Ever been afraid?)
Ever been abandoned?
(Have you)
Ever seen
[Sunrise]
[Sunset]

Could you
Walk a mile
(Just a mile)
In my shoes?
Could we
Walk a mile
In their shoes?

(Can we breathe)
With their lungs?
(Can we see)
With their eyes?
(Can we bleed)
Like everyone (else?)

Tomrrow's a dream
(Just make it to morning)
Today's goodbye
(I hope you wake up)

Wake up

(Don't leave me)

Ever been alone?
(Ever been afraid?)
Ever been abandoned?
(Ever been alone?)
Have you
Ever seen
(Just)
Sunrise
(Just)
Sunset
Ever been alone?
(Ever been afraid?)
Ever been abandoned?
(Have you)
Ever seen
[Sunrise]
[Sunset]

[No home]
(No hope)
[No home]
(No hope)
[No home]
(No hope)
[No sympathy]

Ever been alone?
(They are alone)
Ever been afraid?
(They are afraid)
Ever been abandoned?
(They are abandoned)
[Sunrise]
[Sunset]

(Homeless)
[They are alone]
(Hopeless)
[They are abandoned]
Tomorrow
[They are afraid]
(Make it)
Please make it to morning

(Homeless)
[Sunrise]
(Hopeless)
[Sunset]
(Tomorrow)
[Abandoned]
I'm afraid

Failure (My Curtain Call)

2008-08-11T02:40:00.001-07:00

Really
What was I expecting?
What was I thinking?
What was I hoping for?
I'm nothing more than this...

Such a bitter taste
In my mouth

Who am I
To blame
But myself?
More than this
Who am I?
Who should I
Be?
Where do I go from here?

Such a bitter taste
In my mouth

I don't need
Such a bitter taste
I don't need a past
Bitter regret
I don't need a future
Bitter farewell
I don't need today
Not today
I don't need today
Just a speck in time
I don't need today

Someone save me
Someone save me
I want to scream
But no one
Is
Listening

Someone save me
Someone save me
I
Want
To
Scream

Watch the curtain fall
This is my curtain fall
My certain fall

The story ends
I'm gone

I'm gone...

Hopeless

2008-08-10T01:28:00.001-07:00

I'm a sucker for love

I keep reaching
Keep falling for it
Every single time

Feeling sentimental for someone
Who could care less

Yeah, I'm a fool
And no
I'll never be
Her hero

In her eyes
I'm just a shadow

She wouldn't know
She wouldn't care
She wouldn't know
She wouldn't care
She wouldn't know
She wouldn't care
She wouldn't know
She wouldn't care

I hope this fades
Burn away
I don't want this anymore
I don't want this
Feeling
Dragging me down
Pulling me down

Just watching
Just waiting
Just
Killing myself

And no
I could never tell her
Again
And yes
She's moved on
god I hate Myspace...

My Chance in Time

2008-08-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

[This can't last]

Time is precious
Time is money
(They say)

[Forever]

Time is temporary
You're wasting my life
(With empty words)

[Let me breathe]
[Let me live]

(I)
Never had the chance to
[Breathe for myself]
(I)
Never had the chance to
[Live for myself]
(I)
Never had the chance to
[Breathe for myself]
(I)
Never had the chance to
[Live for myself]

Let me breathe
(Let me live)

You've wasted your time
(Stop trying to steal mine)
You've had your chance
[This is mine]

A chance
(In time)
My chance
(Mine)

Walking

2008-08-08T01:44:00.001-07:00

You wouldn't notice me
Just another guy
Walking the same street
We're both heading to nowhere
It's not like we're blind
We just don't know
Where we're headed yet
We don't want to know
We don't want to leave
But this awkward silence
Should I say something?
No, it's better to just pass by
Keep walking
I don't know you
Not like you notice me
Just keep walking
In silence
Walking to nowhere
In silence

If She Only Knew

2008-08-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

I wonder if one day
She would read these words
And realize what I wished
What I wanted
Up until the day
I finally move on from this
(But that's not today)
[Not tomorrow]

I wonder if she would feel anything
(From these words)
They're just ink on paper
[But they mean the world to me]
If she read these words
(Would she care?)
Would she hold onto them,
If only for a moment?
Would she read them,
Through and through?
Would she fly,
On these [broken],
(Ink-stained) wings,
Into a sunset,
I wrote,
(Only meant for her?)

(I wonder...)
If she wandered
The vastness of the internet
Would she stumble upon this?
[My passion]
Inspiration
(My life)
Would she recognize herself
Amongst my broken words?

[I might] (be) pathetic
[I might] (be) poetic
[I might] (just be) a dreamer
[I might] (just be) another

(But I can't help to wonder)
If she ever read these words
Would she find herself
Wrapped in my ink
Spilled just for her?

My Home (Nothing)

2008-08-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

This is my home
Where nothing happens

This is where I grew up
Scared of the dark
I breathe to the silence of the streets

This is where nothing happens
The outside world
Doesn't infect me here
It can't reach me
No
Not here
Nothing

I could care less
About
Nothing

The silence is deadly
I choked on unspoken words
Nothing happened
Again

This is my home
Where I bleed the silence

This is where I fell in love
Broke my legs for her
This is where I screamed at the sky
And lost my voice

This is where I dreamed
Where I nightmared
The beginning
And the end

This is my home
Where nothing is precious

I would wish on the stars
But the bright night lights
Hide them from my vision

This is where I threw it away
Where I gave up
Cave in

I wanted something more
Than this
Something better

This is my home
Where I learned to cope
With my darkness

Where nothing happens

Freeway Flashes

2008-08-04T11:47:00.001-07:00

Glimpses
Of places
Of people
And their lives
Where do we go from here?
Counting cars
Wondering
Where are we going?
Where are they going?
Feel the miles pile up
Gas is killing me
But I'm still wondering
How's their life?
Is it
Any better than mine?
Wanna trade?
My vision is blocked
By trees
By cement
I get only glimpses
How many lives has it been?
I'm just wondering
Is it any better?

The Melancholy of It All

2008-08-02T23:53:00.000-07:00

Playing silent melodies
Marking my pain in pen

(But no)
You wouldn't care
(If I)
Crawled up a hole
And died
(Silently) silently

Thinking of silent memories
I'll erase what I don't want to hear
(But no)
You wouldn't care
(If I)
Crawled up a hole
And died
(Silently) silently

I've learned
(My worth)
It's less than dirt

There's no reason
(To breathe in)
Anymore

I'll die
(Silently) silently

How About Life for a TV Show?

2008-07-30T15:06:00.000-07:00

[Too much]

[TV]

We're waiting for something
To happen
(Something amazing)
[Take our breath away]
We're just ordinary
(This is reality)

Wishing on shooting stars
(Have you ever found one?)

Wishing on shooting stars
(Have you ever found one?)

Dreaming our lives (away)
[We are alone]
Holding our pillows (tight)
[We are alive]
Crawling in our (skin)
[We are abandoned]
Falling for the
Whispers of the [wind]

Does she dream what I dream?
Does she feel what I feel?

[The lies we buy]
[The lies we swallow]
(Anything) for a little comfort
A little better

[We're flipping through the channels]
Looking for something to watch
We live for the (drama)
We want the [tragedy]

Wishing on shooting stars
(Have you ever found one?)

Wishing on shooting stars
(Have you ever found one?)

Dreaming our lives (away)
[We are alone]
Holding our pillows (tight)
[We are alive]
Crawling in our (skin)
[We are abandoned]
Falling for the
Whispers of the [wind]

Does she dream what I dream?
Does she feel what I feel?

[Dreaming]
[We keep on dreaming]
Isn't this nice?
[Dreaming]
[We keep on dreaming]
Isn't this nice?

Can we live our dreams?
Can I live my dream
(With her?)

Medicate Me

2008-07-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

Give me the cure for loneliness
A prescription for panging regrets
Something for haunting memories
Medicate me
Something to pass the time
Something permanent
My life is silent
No voices for miles
I thought I heard an echo
But it's all in my mind
Give me a voice
Medicate me
Something for a heavy heart
It's dragging me down
Give me feathered wings to fly
A prescription for fear
Something to keep the grave away
Something for the pain
Medicate me
Something to fill the void

In a sea of shelves
I'll lose myself
Give me the cure to loneliness
Medicate me

Kill Me Now Regret

2008-07-23T02:14:00.001-07:00

I wonder where you are
I wonder what time it is
I wonder who you're with

I wonder if you're happy
I hope you're happy
(It's all I can do)

It's killing me
Eating my insides
Regret is my grave
[Bury me]
(Maybe then I'll feel better)

You're haunting my sleep
After all this time
(Your dream won't fade)

I tore those pictures
Burned my letters
(I thought I) [buried you]

It's killing me
Eating my insides
Regret is my grave
[Bury me]
(Maybe then I'll feel better)

[And I want to scream
Into the night
Calling out your name]

(Bury me)
Bury me

(Bury me)
Bury me

[Maybe then I'll feel better]

It's killing me
Eating my insides
Regret is my grave
[Bury me]
(Maybe then I'll feel better)

Maybe then I'll feel better

Chasing Clocks

2008-07-22T21:22:00.001-07:00

Are we chasing our pasts
Hoping to find a future?
Putting off the present
For time spent and
Yet to be had?
Are we living in the wrong moment
Drifting in the wrong era?
Are we chasing the hands of the clock
Hoping someday they will stop
And turn to our will?
Are we trying to control the uncontrollable
One of the few forces
That can't be had?
Are we living on clocks,
Breathing on gears,
And bleeding ticks and tocks?
Are we that broken
That we keep chasing
Our time around the clock
Hoping that this will stop?

Depressing Judgement

2008-07-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

Why don't I just die now?
Maybe you'll be happy
I know I'm not perfect
But you insist the impossible
Sometimes
These things can't be helped
You don't know how much it hurts
When I try so hard
Only to fail in your eyes
You don't believe me
You won't believe me
Believe me
If I died now
I'd think you'd be smiling
Why don't I just cut myself
So you can laugh a little
Why don't I just bury myself
I'll go grab a shovel
I hate perfection
I think it's a serial killer
We die trying
Chasing something that doesn't exist
Chasing a dream
Chasing nothing
Maybe when I'm gone
You'll smile
Is that what it takes?
Why don't I just die?

Peace-Seeker

2008-07-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

We are your silent unseen
Still bleeding
From your gunshots
And here we stand
Still standing
For something

We just want peace
Standing for peace
Just some peace

Lay down your arms
(Give me your hand)
We'll fade into the sunset

Lay down your arms
(Give me your hand)
We'll fade into the sunset

[Lay] Down (Your) [Life]
[Lay] Down (Your) [Life]
[Lay] Down (Your) [Life]
[Lay] Down (Your) [Life]

I never wanted this war
(Why do we keep fighting?)
Why are we fighting?
[I don't want to die]
(I can't kill him)
[I hate them]
(I think he's retarded)
Why are we in this mess?
(I miss him, so much)
Bring them home
[I can't take anymore]
(Is it over yet?)
Come back
(Come home)
[Bring them back]
I never wanted this
(I don't want to bury him)
[He's not dead!]
He can't be
[I don't believe you!]
Why are we still in this?
(I hate it)
[I hate him!]

Don't die...

Please...

Peace...

Music Wanted

2008-07-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

(These words are)
About as musical
(As silence)
Gets
There's no beat
(No melody)
No insane guitar solo
(To keep)
You
(Listening)
Only my silent voice
(Singing)
In your head
(Singing in your head)
Read these words aloud
So I can steal
(Your voice)
I'll sound however
You imagine me
(Are you breathing in sync with me?)
Can you feel
(Our hearts beating?)
Are we breathing still?

(A silent voice)
Singing
(A silent voice)
Wishing
(A silent voice)
Pleading

I need some music...

Darkness

2008-07-10T15:18:00.000-07:00

Do you
Really
Want to know me?
(I'm lost and confused)
In my own
(Dark)
Darkness
(Tearing out my eyes)
I don't want to see
[I don't need to see]
I want to
See
Your true self

There's no such thing as perfection
But darkness is pretty close
(No one knows)
Who's who
(Based on a pretty face)
It's the closest thing
(We have)
To seeing souls

Don't start a fire
Don't bring the light
(Just swallow
The darkness)

Don't start a fire
Don't bring the light
(Just swallow
The darkness)

[Are you scared of the dark?]
[Are you scared of yourself?]
Are you scared
Of what
You're capable (Of)?

[Are you scared of the dark?]
[Are you scared of yourself?]
Are you scared
Of what
You're capable (Of)?

Love

(Be glad you can breathe)
There are those
Who suffocate
[Suffocate]
(Buried alive)
In plastic graves
(Living lies)
That we believe
[We believe]

How long
Will it take
For our eyes to adjust?
(Can we see?)

(Are you scared of the dark?)
[Are you scared of yourself?]
(Are you scared of the dark?)
[Are you scared of yourself?]
(Are you scared of the dark?)
[Are you scared of yourself?]

I'm lost and confused
In my perfect darkness

...Pity...

2008-07-10T01:20:00.001-07:00

...please excuse me drowning in self-pity...

I feel like I'm just watching
Watching every breath leave me
Watching life just pass me by
I watched her slip away
I watched everything fall apart
I'm still picking up the pieces
I'm still dropping the pieces
I can't grab a hold of it
It slips through my fingers
I want to go somewhere
Anywhere
But I have nowhere
No one
To hold
Nothing
I'm missing something
I can feel it
The emptiness
But where do I get it?
Where do I get mine?
Maybe it was a mistake
I guess I'm already dead
Someone just bury me

But I can't help but dream about it
Reaching for it
Blinding but I want it
I can't help falling for it
I can't help falling for her
I want it
Life

...sorry about that...

Cage

2008-07-09T15:58:00.000-07:00

So go ahead and
Lock me away
In a 3 by 3 foot cell
[Here]
Build me some 7 foot walls
Cast 'em in iron
(So) [I can't escape]

Pad the walls
Pad the floor
[Pad the roof]
(I don't want to)
[Die]

Give me a single window
[To watch out]
To see outside of this
(See the outside)

I'm locked away
And you could care less
[I'm not alive]
Shallow hearts
Sharper words
[It hurts]
(They hurt)

Don't

2008-07-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

Don't even speak
I don't want to hear it
Don't even breathe
I never wanted this
Never wanted this

You're silent
Mouthing words
I don't want to hear
But it still hurts
Like knives in my spine

How long did I think
I could keep this masquerade
Up?
I almost thought
It would last
Forever
What a fool I am
How foolish we are
Thinking we can stop time
And treasure a moment

You're leaving
Walking steps
Breath by breath
I never wanted this
Never wanted this

The rose fades
Petals blooming
Thorns intact
Bleeding me
You're bleeding me

Divide

2008-07-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

We aren't so broken
Anymore
We've pulled ourselves
Together
But you insist
On tearing us apart
Keep us divided
So we can fall
Alone
(Alone)
Alone
(Alone)
Alone

We are this
You are that
Let's meet up in the end
And see
Who's happier then

I wonder if you're listening
(I wonder if you're listening)

Can you hear us?
(Can you hear us?)

You love it when
We're broken
So easily misplaced
Floating along
With the crowd
You go ahead
And lead us
Over the edge again
Falling for
No one
Falling for
Nothing

I hate it
You love it
(When we're a)[lone]
You love it when you see us
(By ourselves)
[Defenseless]
By ourselves
[Defensless]
(Pick us off)
One by one
Watch the others [fall]

Paranoid Feeling

2008-07-04T12:44:00.001-07:00

I got this paranoid feeling (feeling)
Stuck in my head
And I can't seem to get it (to get it)
Out of my head (my head)
I got this [paranoid] feeling (feeling)
Stuck in my head (my head)
And I can't seem to get it [get it]
Out of my head (my head)

I think I'm paranoid
I know I'm paranoid
I think I'm paranoid
I know I'm paranoid

Head keeps turning
Looking over my shoulder
I'm pretty sure
Someone's following
Stalking my stairs
But I'll
Take it step by step (breath by breath)
Dreading the moment
When they make a move
And I'm thinking (helpless)

I think I'm [paranoid]
(I know I'm) [paranoid]
I think I'm [paranoid]
(I know I'm) [paranoid]

Closing every window
(And)Locking all the doors
I know they're out there waiting (waiting)
Waiting for their chance
But they'll never have it (have it)
Have it slip through my hands

I think I'm [paranoid]
(I know I'm) [paranoid]
I think I'm [paranoid]
(I know I'm) [paranoid]

Ink stained fingers
From a broken pen
Play this melody of letters
Try to distract them
Maybe then I can leave
Maybe then I can breathe (easy)
Maybe then I could
(Maybe then I could)
[Maybe then I could]

I got this paranoid feeling (feeling)
Stuck in my head
And I can't seem to get it (to get it)
Out of my head (my head)
I got this [paranoid] feeling (feeling)
Stuck in my head
And I can't seem to get it [get it]
Out of my head (my head)

Still Dreaming After All This Time

2008-07-03T01:34:00.000-07:00

There's something I need you to know
(I'm still dreaming)
Hold me close
(Hold me tight)
Hold me until the end of night
(Help me make it to morning)

I'm still dreaming
(Dreaming about you)
Still dreaming
(Trying to hold you)

The taste of your subtle lips
(Eludes my own)
The touch of your skin
(Is just out of reach)
I hate it when scars keep bleeding
(Open wounds)
I hate when it's all downhill
(When the world is against you)

I'm still dreaming
(Dreaming about you)
Still dreaming
(Trying to hold you)

And I saw her face
When I was awake
My body stopped moving
My heartbeat
Raced
For her
Only for her

I'll let you in
On a secret
I'm still dreaming
(Dreaming about you)

I'll let in
On my secret
I'm still trying
(Trying to hold you)

(Hold me close)
(Hold me tight)
Help me make it to morning...

Happy Burning Grave

2008-07-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

Are you happy now?

Are you happy now?

Congratulations
(I hate you)
Another heart
(Thrown away)
Tally another mark
Keeping score

Another night
(So cold)
I can grab my own
(Frozen breath)
Watch it melt in my hands
And slip through my fingers

Are you happy now?
(You've broken another
Heart!) Happy now?

[Do
You feel it
Burning
Burning inside
Burn you alive]

[Feed the flames
And watch
Everything
Burn
Down]

[Burn
Down
Burn]
(You burn!)
You burn!
(You burn!)

Lies in your eyes
(Oh, your eyes!)
How they stabbed me
(A dozen times)
Through the chest
Killing me

Such hideous beauty
(In your smile)
You'll fake a life
I hope
He breaks you
I hope he breaks you

Are you happy now?
(You've broken another
Heart!) Happy now?

All I have
Is this pen
And your
Slow demise
(Sealed in ink)
I'll ready your coffin
Dirt for your grave
Bury another heart

What's the score now?
[Burn!] (Happy now?)
Are you happy now?

No Sense of Direction

2008-07-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

It's a lie
But I hold my prayer
I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway
It's a lie
But I hold my prayer
I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway

These people just keep staring at me
And you're still on my mind
I want to give it up
Give you up
Throw you away
But I like it
So I'll keep you
Hold you close
Right here

It's a lie
But I hold my prayer
I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway
It's a lie
But I hold my prayer
I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway

In my eyes
These streets were never colder
Than tonight
I don't really want to go
But I don't really care
There's nothing left for me here
I hate it when my
Feet start moving before my mind

I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway

These words make no sense
I write about you tonight
And what I said to you
You think I'm normal
But I know I'm not
Because I love before I lie

Breathing Poison

2008-07-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

There is only dirt
Where
You sleep
(Dirt where you sleep)
Hearts were meant
To be broken
(Smash them to pieces)
No one fears
Just
What we breathe
(This isn't happening)
No one fears
The lies
We
Swallow
(Just take it all in)
Take it all in

And you won't say a word
(Take it all in)
Take it all in
They won't say
Anything
But I ain't
Silence

Scream for a hero
(Scream for tomorrow)
Holding on
To fleeting hope
(Faded dreams)
Wear out my lungs
(Breathe)
In
The poison
Feel it
Rush through your veins
Again

You Don't Want to Know/Be Me

2008-06-30T01:07:00.000-07:00

You don't want to know me
You don't want to be me
Someone going through the motions
Someone just living in a moment
Dreaming of something better
A nightmare of something worse
You don't want to know me
A poet at a loss for words
These pages filled with words
The ink bleeds through
And they all rip
Torn by the slightest touch
I could put them back together
But what's the point
The wind only blows them to pieces again
You don't want to be me
A writer with nowhere to go
Nothing worth writing
You don't want to be me
Someone who knows
He's going to die someday
Someone who sees darkness
In his death
Someone who's dreamed
His own funeral
Buried alive
Screaming
You don't want to see me
Dead eyes staring
Back at you
Can you see your reflection?
Do you hate your reflection?
I hate mine
Broke a mirror
How many years left?
I swear my heart was glass
Broken to pieces
Shards in my chest
Cutting
Bleeding
Tearing
Piercing
You can't fix it
Not without bleeding hands
Even then it's impossible
The pieces are too small
She crushed them to dust
And swept them away
There's nothing there
Anymore
Just an empty space
A void
No
You don't want to know me
You don't want to be me

Prevent Your Murder-Suicide

2008-06-29T11:31:00.001-07:00

You took the knife
Bleeding blade of lies
It was so cold
To the touch
They were so cold
It was cold outside
Night

And it kills me inside
When you say "I want to die"
And it kills me inside
When you want to die

Take life
One breath at a time
Breath by breath
You're still breathing
Just keep breathing
Your heart's still beating
Beating with life

For every up
There's a down
For every down
There's an up
Just hold on
For the up
It's coming soon
Just hold on
A little longer
Just a little longer

I don't want to see you cry
I don't want to see you bleed
I don't want to see you die
I don't want to see you die
You'd be killing me
Killing me

Killing me

Just hold on
A little longer

All Is Silent

2008-06-28T22:06:00.001-07:00

There's no rush

There's no need

No one's
Listening

Slow down or just
Fade away

They're gone
Now
You're done
Now
It's
Over
Now

There's no rush

There's no need

No one's
Listening

I can only hope
(That it gets better)
I can only dream
(That it gets better)
I can only wish
(Upon a star)
Tonight

I can only hope
(That it gets better)
I can only dream
(That it gets better)
I can only wish
(Upon a star)
Tonight

Hello?
(Hello?)
Hello?
(Hello?)

Is anybody out there?

Hello?
(Hello?)
Hello?
(Hello?)

Is anyone out there?

Hello?
(Hello?)
Hello?
(Hello?)
Hello?
(Hello?)
Hello?
(Hello?)
Hello?
(Hello?)

'Cause all
I hear
Is silence

...

'Cause all
I hear
Is silent

...

Anthem

2008-06-27T18:12:00.001-07:00

So come on!

Let's all just sing along
Sing an anthem
To die for!

Shed some blood!
Shed some blood!
Shed some blood tonight

Hold nothing back!
Hold nothing back!
Throw away your fears

And this is
What you've been waiting for
Waiting all your life for
Something worth dying for
Something to die for
Something to die for

March on!
March on!
Forward!

No mercy!
No mercy!
No mercy for them
No mercy!
No mercy!
Frozen hearts

Ready!
Aim!
Fire!

Ready!
Aim!
Fire!

Fire!

An anthem
To die for...

New Day (Maybe)

2008-06-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

I want a world that doesn't bleed
I want a voice that doesn't have to scream

Can you hear it?
Do you get the feeling?

I never asked for these scars
Never wanted these nightmares for memories

Who wants to wake up falling?
Who wants to dream of nothing?

I can't take it
Stop staring
Stop judging
Just stop breathing

I'm no different
I"m far from normal
I'm not different
I'm so far away

Do you feel it?
Coming on
And on
And on
And on
And on

Broken-hearted
Trampled under
Foot
A face you'll never know
Am I running from myself?

Running in circles
Circles again
A pair of eyes to see
Bloodshot

Can you feel the anxiety?

I don't wanna go
I want to go
I don't wanna go
I want to go

Sometimes I wish
For them to just
Take me away

Sometimes I wish
For the new day
To come

I don't know anymore...

Deprived

2008-06-22T15:33:00.001-07:00

There is no Inspiration here
She left a while ago
Just gathered her wings
And flew away
I lost her in the sun
My eyes hurt
My words feel dry
I think she stole some of my ink
At least my heart doesn't ache
The wound
Is a scar
But I don't think it will fade
I've been sleeping on my story
And wondering where to turn it next
I got music blasting
Division Street
Thursday
Pretty good
Amazing I can't find her in it

Helpless

2008-06-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

We say anything we want
Whatever comes to mind
You can speak
Until your voice is gone
Until your lungs collapse
But reality is crushing
You can all you want
But words only do so much
Dreams only get you so far
The fact is
She's halfway
Across the world
And I can't do shit
To help her
I can't be there
To hold her hand
I can't be there
To hear every breath
To cherish every breath
All I can do
Is write
And speak
Scream until my lungs fail me
All I can do is hope
For the best
Fuck...
It's helpless...

Addiction

2008-06-19T13:10:00.001-07:00

I'll admit it
I'm addicted to writing
I can't seem to put this pen down
It's running out of ink
Going dry
I think I'm running out of paper
Down to my last sheet actually
But my mind won't stop racing
Word by word
Sentences form
Inspiration born
I'm determined to finish this
I don't want it to die
I want to finish this
Drawing from inspiration
I'll leave it all on paper

http://ink-dragonraid.blogspot.com/

possibilities never had

2008-06-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

Outside of closed windows
As I try to scream for her
I'm scared to death

Every single word
She spoke to me
I have written
Within
The pages of my heart
My heart

The possibilities are endless
What could have been
Will never be
Simply because
I said so

Hate Isn't a Strong Enough Word

2008-06-17T00:04:00.000-07:00

You buried my passion
I buried your body
You ripped out my heart
I tore out your lungs
I drilled
This letter
You wrote me
To the head
Of your tombstone
I shoved these thorns
With roses
Down the throat
Of your grave

(Die!)
Die!
(Die!)
Die!
(Die!)
Die!

No one can save you now
No one will save you now
I'll make sure of it
You won't breathe again
I won't let you breathe again

You broke my heart
I broke your neck
You cried a lie
I made you bleed true
I would have
Buried you alive
So you could suffer
But
Turns out you don't last long
Without your lungs
Without your lies

Hate doesn't begin to describe
This
My knife will drop again
Your blood will bleed again
No
Hate doesn't even begin
To describe it

Not Sure N E More

2008-06-15T15:52:00.000-07:00

I slip away
When I hold your hand
I've learned the pain
Of holding on

Too long

Too far

Why don't you

Tell me everything
I need
To know
Give me a guide
To a life
That no one
Will ever know
Throw me a lifeline
So I can
Pull myself ashore
I'm not sure
I'm not sure anymore

Holding on
(Too long)
I slip away
(Too far)
There's nothing left
(I'm gone)
I've had enough

I don't know what to say
(To you)
Anymore

Price to Pay to Play

2008-06-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

What's the price
To play the game?
Take my heart
My soul
My voice
Take my mouth
My eyes
My ears
Have I paid
The price to play?
It's all we want
To win this game
But everything
Still feels the same
We've lost our turns
And now we wait
For the game
To end its way
Where will we be?
What will we do?
Who will speak?
Is this
The price to play?
Take all of me
My humanity
Dress me in plastic
And hand me
A set of lies
To abide
Another scapegoat
To feast upon
I can finally play
Play this sick and twisted game
Don't you want to play with me?
Don't you want to play the game?
Do you know the price to pay?
What's the price to play the game?

Naturally Imperfect

2008-06-11T21:41:00.001-07:00

Maybe it is my nature
To scream
Maybe it is my nature
To bleed
Maybe I'm something other than perfection
Something that scares you to death
You see my flaws as daggers at your throat
And I'm not bothered a bit
By that idea
A tower I see you
Before me
I find my hand on the cornerstone
And watch you crumble
You thought you held the sky
But don't you see?
The sky looks down on you
Pity
Shame
Maybe it's life
That has got a chokehold on you
Putting you on the verge of living
In a reality
But no
You insist on dying
Insist on the grave
Anything but an apartment
Anything but a life
Maybe it's perfection that's weak
It's relient on flaws
To make IT perfect

Tired Line

2008-06-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

I am

Tired

Of the lies
Bruised and bloodied
Eyes to see

I am

Tired

Of this life
Too many broken
Hearts to breathe

(Breathe again)

Make these scars
Memories
Made of ink

Have your arms
Bury my
Heart again

Flatline
(Don't) Flatline

Leave me gasping
So I can breathe

Have me silent
So I can speak

Raise me up
A fool
For all to see