Too Close...for Comfort...

The deepest, darkest secret you've ever heard
Shed in a new light
The thoughts that ran through my head
The hesitation with every breath
Almost killed myself...once...

It was in mid-fall
With the grayest sky you've ever seen
And a wind that brought chills to your spine
My mind was a mess
My open-book heart was full of blank pages
Save for the spots of ink where someone almost started to write
Home alone, again,
Mind wandering
And wondering
Why keep going?

The knife was sharp
Never used it once
Thought about how quick it would be
If I stabbed my heart
Maybe the pain would feel comforting
Maybe my heart would finally have something to hold

But then, the memories flooded my thoughts
It was like emerging from a fog
And finally seeing what was in front of you
That blurred figure standing still as stone
Waiting for you

There was so much to live for
My whole life ahead of me
Hard to throw it away
It's not what she would want
It's not what he had taught me
Their words echoed in my ears
And the blade fell to the floor

I retreated to the corner
Withdrawal
My hands were shaking
Breathing labored
Heart racing
I buried the knife
I even placed a gravestone
With the engraving "Suicide"

Too close...for comfort...









































I will live on...writing...