Too Close...for Comfort...

The deepest, darkest secret you've ever heard
Shed in a new light
The thoughts that ran through my head
The hesitation with every breath
Almost killed myself...once...

It was in mid-fall
With the grayest sky you've ever seen
And a wind that brought chills to your spine
My mind was a mess
My open-book heart was full of blank pages
Save for the spots of ink where someone almost started to write
Home alone, again,
Mind wandering
And wondering
Why keep going?

The knife was sharp
Never used it once
Thought about how quick it would be
If I stabbed my heart
Maybe the pain would feel comforting
Maybe my heart would finally have something to hold

But then, the memories flooded my thoughts
It was like emerging from a fog
And finally seeing what was in front of you
That blurred figure standing still as stone
Waiting for you

There was so much to live for
My whole life ahead of me
Hard to throw it away
It's not what she would want
It's not what he had taught me
Their words echoed in my ears
And the blade fell to the floor

I retreated to the corner
Withdrawal
My hands were shaking
Breathing labored
Heart racing
I buried the knife
I even placed a gravestone
With the engraving "Suicide"

Too close...for comfort...









































I will live on...writing...

Rings Around the Roses

I won't live with regret on my back
I'll search the world
For the cure
To this hurt
Bring on your worst
Sorrow
Your pain won't stop me now

Be calm, calm, calm,
Be calm, calm, calm,
Settle down...
Ashes,
Ashes,
Ashes,
Ashes,
We all fall...
Down...

I'll chase the light
Forever if it takes
Over land or by sea
I swear I'll catch it
I'll hold high
With both hands
I'll hold the cure
And relieve this hurt

I will prevail
Over Sorrow

Be calm, calm, calm,
Be calm, calm, calm,
Settle down...
Ashes,
Ashes,
Ashes,
Ashes
We all fall...
Down...

Bring on your storms, Sorrow
I'll brave them without fail
Your winds of despair can't stop me
Your waves of tears won't stop me
I swear I'll bury you next to regret

Be calm, calm, calm
Be calm, calm, calm,
Settle down...
Ashes,
Ashes,
Ashes,
Ashes,
We all fall...
Down...

Sympathy, Empathy

I'm waiting
Take my hand
And lead me
To your dreams
To the hopes
You hold
So dear in
Your heart

Sympathy
Empathy
We're lacking

Tell me your fears
The reasons why
You shun the darkness
Why you hesitate
With every step
You take
Show me your memories
The images
That play
Over and over
And over again
In your mind

Sympathy
Empathy
We're lacking

Lead me to
Your thoughts
Random musings
Of your mind
What are you thinking?
I will follow you
To your concerns
Do you worry
About what
Tomorrow holds?

Sympathy
Empathy
We're lacking

As we come
To your heart
Love
Loss
Pain
I feel
Perhaps starting
To understand
The other side

Sympathy
Empathy
We're lacking

Balloon

Are my dreams like a balloon?
So easily inflated
So easily popped
And then leaves nothing
But pieces
So hard to keep inflated
So hard to maintain
But it seems like it wants
To resist falling to the ground
It floats ever so gently
Barely makes a sound

Paper Heart

Is my heart so frail
As paper?
Is it stapled to my sleeve
Displayed for all to see?
Is it so easily ripped,
Torn, shredded?
It's been written on
For the ink bleeds through
But the words are hardly discernable
Many are crossed out
Never meant to say that
But what if it runs out of space
To write?
Do I go get another one?
Or am I stuck with this one
With bleeding ink and crossed out words?