Whirlwind

My heart is a whirlwind
Of mistakes
Memories
Regrets
Dreams
Love
Loss
Fears
Joys
Nightmares
And what if's

They circle around
In the most vicious of winds
Sharp as thorns
Cutting my insides

I feel like I'm dying
From the anxiety of tomorrow
And what it brings
Because I'm forced to let go
Of yesterday's dreams
And face today's realities
Bracing for pain
That remains timeless

The whirlwind spins outward
And grows to envelop my body
The winds so thick they block my vision
Force so strong they distort the voices
I can't make out what they're saying anymore
They're just...noise
Someone's there
But who is it?
Are they for me?
Are they against me?
Do they even care?

It's not what can I be?
It's what will I be?
If I have the potential
Doesn't that frighten
Anyone else but me?
There's light within me
To compliment the darkness
Who's to say one won't
Overtake the other
Along with my heart?

But for now the winds are blowing
Stronger than ever
I sense change
But I'm not sure
If it's for the better
All I know is that the wind is blowing
Raging in my ears
There's noise in the background
All I see are figures
Distorted shadows
But all I really know for sure
Is that I'm stuck in the eye
Of a whirlwind
That has the potential to destroy
Or just disperse...

We're Mixed, Yet So Messed Up

All the colors are smeared
Across the faces of the people
We know no longer a "pure"
Yet we still try
With dark secrets beneath the surface
And filters in full effect
To limit them below our vision
Drive them below our aspirations
But we were raised with a bar to reach
A bar to exceed
To extend our reach far beyond anything
We imagined through the mysteries of our dreams
So why do we try to do what we've hated
For so many generations
Why do we work so hard to make ourselves shine
At the expense of the potential of our future?

What to Believe

Yesterday I saw a man on the street
He wasn't dead beat or tired
Dressed in jeans and other attire
White beard pretty clean, eyes unfrozen
Nothing out of place, nothing broken
He was holding a sign in black ink
"Homeless. No casa. Please help me."
And I sat in the car, passenger seat
Thinking
Wondering whether or not to believe
The story he told, or was it just a lie?
Judging whether or not to buy this for real
Driver just turned the wheel
Ignored him
Because
We've seen so many things in our lives
A lot of half-truths, just plain lies
Everybody tries to get theirs for free
And I've grown cold to those around me
I don't feel sorry for him because he looked
Perfectly fine, get out, get a job, dollar or dime
It's crazy
We're so dependent on medication
That we don't know the meaning of dedication and
Hard work
Too lazy to utter an "erk"
Keep moving along, passing by, gone...

Lying Little Pill

I'm sick and tired
Of trying to be alright
I'm not okay
Not okay

But you don't believe
You won't believe
Say you can't ever
Believe me

Swallow the pill
It'll make you better
(You're such a liar)

I'm trying to tell you
Been trying to tell you
But you're impossible
To talk to

It figures...

The one person
I'm supposed to talk to
Won't even listen to me

You call it excuses
But I'm trying to help myself
Trying to find an answer
Without asking questions
Because you're no help

Swallow the pill
It'll make you better
(You're such a liar)

There's plenty more
Left to say
But even these
Won't reach you...

Hate Me

[You hate me
I hate me
So who's left
To join in the fun?]

[You hate me
I hate me
So who's
Left?]

Where is my (joy)
Where is my escape
(Why can't I)
Ever seem to be
The one
(You want)

[I'm not perfect
You're not perfect
They're not perfect
But perfect
Is what you want]

[We're not perfect
It don't exist
But perfect
Is all you want]

(Perfection)
An illusion
(Perfection)
I hate it
(Like me)

[But still you scream
You scream
At me]

I'm no mistake
No mistake

I'm just me
Just me the me I want to be

[Why don't you open
Open your eyes
Stop acting blind
I know you can see
Stop lying
Stop trying]

You blame me
(For yourself)
You blame me
(For myself)
You blame me
(For anything)
You blame me
(For everything)

[I can't take anymore]

...

If you cut me
And I cut me
How many cuts will it take?
Will I bleed?
Will I die?
Will you see?
Will you try?

[Take this blade]
Cut me deep
(Maybe I'll)
Finally feel
Something
(From you)
Be it pain
Or pain

[All that you ever gave me]

I hate me
(Cut me deep inside)
You hate me
(You finally gave me)
Something to feel
[Pain]
All that you give
All that you give

I'm not perfect
(You're no better)
Stop dreaming (because)
I'll never be
(Who you want me to be)

I'm just me
(Just me)
Just me
(Just me)
I'm just
Me

[Someone we can all hate]