Saturday, December 29, 2007

[Warning: Strong Language in the Following Reality Check] Unrelenting (Meant to Offend You)

You fucking whore!
Can think of nothing
But sex?
Ever wonder why you get hurt?
You prance around
Like you were just born yesterday
Slutacious bitch
Why don't you try dressing like a lady
With some modesty
Some respect
Maybe we could fix your problems then

Who the fuck do you think you are,
King of the universe?
Who the hell died
And made you king?
What power do you have
Over me?
Real mature
Using force
But for you
Gravity and physics
Can be a bitch
What goes up
Must come down
The bigger they are
The harder they fall
I don't see anyone
Catching you

Suck it up
Drama queen
Not everything is a tragedy
You don't even know
The meaning of the word
Go ahead
Pretty yourself up with makeup
Go buy some plastic
I'll watch you melt under the sun
Watch your false tears
While you assume
The fetal position
On the sidewalk
Under someone's magnifying glass

Fucking coward
Own up to your actions
Don't fucking run away
That baby is yours
Be a man
Own up to it
Take responsibilty
But NO
You just have to run away
Like the coward you are
Mistakes and regrets
Are yours alone
You'd better do something
Too late
The sirens are coming

Wow, don't be a bitch
I can fucking see you have my supplies
Yet you're telling me you don't have them
They're right fucking there!
A blind man could see that
But you just have to be
A snotty nosed bitch
Filing your nails
In front of me
Chewing your gum
Acting like you have no care in the world
You probably don't
But actions come back to haunt you
It's called karma
What goes around comes around
When you struggle
And ask for help
You'll be needed
And have nothing else to say
Except "Fuck"

That was the shittiest excuse
I have ever heard
Fucking liar
Think you can throw the blame
On someone else
Before they see you?
Problem with that is
You have to be quicker than them
One day you'll meet your match
And then your victims will catch up
And then you're screwed

Aren't we all hypocrites
We say millions of words
Yet never do anything
Said but never did
Received but never gave
Damn, we're fucked up

Sunday, December 23, 2007

lyrics from various artists

"somebody should have told you
it never comes easy
somebody should have told you that
there's no guarantees"
-Life is a Garden by Greeley Estates

"Where will I be,
I guess I'm on the run
and time is catching up behind me"
-When All is Said and Done by Trapt

"I don't ask for much
The truth be told I'd settle
For a life less frightening, a life less frightening"
-Life Less Frightening by Rise Against

"Am I running from you or am I running from me?"
-Running From Me by TRUSTcompany

"I'm not afraid of tomorrow
I'm only scared of myself"
-Tomorrow by SR-71

"I never wanted to hear (I never wanted to)
We are the only ones we are running from"
-I Never Wanted To by Saosin

"And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you"
-Numb by Linkin Park

"I hope it's something worth the waiting,
'Cause it's the only time that I ever feel real"
-Emily by From First to Last

"This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong"
-Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

"I'm left here with the question of just
what have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets"
-The Artist in the Ambulance by Thrice

"I have so many things
I would like to explain to you
But I don't know just how to
-I'm the Best at Ruining My Life by From Autumn to Ashes

"Failure leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth"
-You're Ever So Inviting by Underoath

"And we're bleeding colors of grey
Hear the screaming, fade away"
-Burnt Memories by Stutterfly

"Is it worth the can you even hear me?"
-The Taste of Ink by The Used

"Unlock these secrets in me
Describe the vision, the meaning is missing
Won't anybody listen?"
-Sleeping Awake by P.O.D.

"Headliners flash across our eyes deleting honesty through hidden lines."
-Believe What We Tell You by The Sleeping

"I've been waiting
I've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right"
-Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups

"This was my fate, giving in
To your lips, To your eyes
i should have known it would come back to haunt me"
-Always and Never by Silverstein

"Do you still remember back when days were longer, dreams were bigger then
The weight of the world had not yet landed on the shoulders of a man"
-Take Me Back by Story of the Year

"Is it me or is it you?
Something isn't right"
-Eraser by Smile Empty Soul

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Box

It's so simple
So plain to see
Painted a single shade of black
From top to bottom
Side to side
Every inch
She holds the top closed
Tightly closed
No one will enter
She'll never leave

In a pitch black box
She finds her refuge
Hiding herself from the world

The people pass by
And they wonder
Who's in the box?
They can hear her screaming
They can hear her crying
They can hear her mumbling
But they do nothing
Only watch to see
What will happen
A cruel reality

In a pitch black box
She finds her refuge
Hiding herself from the world

And I wonder
What happened?
Was it so terrible
That she's afraid of the world?
Does she hate the world?
Was it so shameful
That she refuses
To show her face anymore?
No one will know...

She keeps her heart close
But her secrets closer...

In a pitch black box
She finds her refuge
In a pitch black box
Hiding herself from the world
In a pitch black box
She finds her comfort
In a pitch black box
Hiding herself from the world

Eye of the Storm

So deceivingly peaceful
So quiet
Almost silent
With echoing winds
So surreal
So out of place
In such a time
Houses being devoured
Tress uprooted
Chaos surrounding me
Ironic I find peace
Echoing screams
Last words
Everything we held dear
Taken away in an instant
But I find peace
In the midst of disaster
Alone in the tragedy
Standing still

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Christmas Coming

I can't wait
To come home
I can't wait
To hold you

This Christmas coming
Jingling bells
And decking the halls
Led by reindeer
I'm coming home

You're so cold
When I hold you
Your smile's faded
And your laughter's silent
What's going on?
What's wrong?

This Christmas coming
Rocking around the Christmas tree
I'll be wondering
What has you
Frozen over

You're so cold
Left me alone
To pick up the pieces
Of this heart you broke
You know
It's really hard
To drive home
With blurry vision

This Christmas coming
I'll be wondering
If angels are really held on high
Or do they fall
Just like us?

I'm here to say goodbye
Your pictures buried
Your written words burned
All that's left of you is memory
But it takes time
I won't say I'm sorry

This Christmas coming
In silent night
I sit alone
Trying to warm myself
In front of the fireplace
Trying to melt away the ice

(Author's note: Her name wasn't Erika)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


A cold-blooded killer
Not with a blade
Not with a gun
Not with any weapon
But with a kiss she kills
Dressed in scarlet-red
With matching heels
She flirts and ensnares
The shallow
With betrayal she breaks
The heart of any man
Who falls for her trap
They fall
And keep falling
Until they find the strength
To rise up and stand again

He uses no force
He poses no threat
But that's part of the problem
He does nothing
Still and silent
To the rest of the world
To even her
A frozen heart
So many tried to reach it
Tried to hold it
Warm it
But they were buried
Beneath the snow
In his blizzard
Frozen solid


Are we machines
Coming off the assembly line?
All identical
Are we so plugged in
To the system, that,
We can't think for ourselves
Unless we download
The program?
Are we as cold
As steel when left outside
Freezing temperatures
We feel nothing...
Are we so dependent on oil
That we need it
To move our limbs,
To breathe?
Are we machines
Fighting wars despite the losses,
Fighting wars despite the reasons?
Do we obey orders without question?
Do we submit so easily to commands?
Are we replaced
By the latest versions
With newer features
And then thrown out in the dark?
Are we left to die?
No sentiment for the outdated...
Do we sell our souls
For the latest material
Do we surrender our humanity?

If so then...

Take me back, back,
Back to better days
Back to when we could think
When we could breathe
I want to feel again
Give me back my heart
I choose, to be,

Monday, December 17, 2007


The flames burn brighter now
Embers scatter
Wood to ashes
The fire rises
Threatens to burn the sky
It dances wildly
Almost insane
Engulfed in fury
As is he
The fire burns in his eyes
The rage is blinding
All he sees is flames
And ashes
And embers
And flames
And embers
And ashes
And flames
His heart becomes the fuel
His body engulfed in flames
The fury consumes him
Soon nothing but ashes
As he burns out
And the ashes dispersed
By the wind
Plague the sky
A crimson glow
The flames die down
The fury dies down

Ripples in the Water

Can you wash your hands clean of this?
Can you wash your hands clean of this?

The ripples are plain to see
In such a calm lake
But they make their way
Downstream, over the waterfall
And come crashing down
On whatever lies in the way

Can you wash your hands clean of this?

The rain is impossible to dodge
In mass amounts it brings you down
The sorrow spreads
The pain multiplies
It brings everyone down
And who's fault is that?

Can you wash your hands clean of this?
Can you wash your hands clean of this?

You control the faucet
But only the faucet
The pipe is broken
And the water is bursting out
What do you control now?

Can you wash your hands clean of this?
Can you wash your hands clean of this?

The ripples are plain to see
In a calm lake
But what a storm you've caused
The waves of the ocean, clashing
Water, water everywhere
The winds vicious
And the clouds ominous
Can you stop such a storm?

Can you wash your hands clean of this?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Drive Home

Changing highways
And following roads
Illuminated by faded lights
And the moon
We drive home
Your head leans on my shoulder
Breathing in rhythm
You're so peaceful
You know
When your sleeping
I wonder what dream you're dreaming

And it's nights like these
When I wish I could stop time
Cherish this moment forever
And it's times like these
When I wish you were mine
Love you forever

Ten minutes away
You sit awake
The sleep lingers in your eyes
As you watch the wheels
Roll over the last stretches of road
We're almost home
Maybe I'll drive slower now
To be with you
That much longer

And it's nights like these
When I wish I could stop time
Cherish this moment forever
And it's times like these
When I wish you were mine
Love you forever

We're here now
At your stop
This is where you get off
You wave goodbye
And flash that smile
Enter your house
And close your door
Leaving my heart out
In the cold

I drive home
I drive home
I drive home
I drive home

I wish I could stop time
Cherish these moments forever
I wish she were mine
Love her forever

What Have We Become?

We are cold
We are hurt
We tear out
The hearts
Of others
With no remorse
We are sick
We are twisted
We thrive on
And anger
And death
We are lost
We are scared
We are impatiently
For something
To come and...
Save us...

We try
We take
We'll keep going
On and on and on and on and
On and on and on and on
Until we get what we want
We lie
We steal
We'll do
And anything
For the adrenaline...

We are anxious
We are suspicious
We are paranoid
To the point
Where we suspect
Our own shadows
We are flawed
We doubt ourselves
We are our own
Worst enemies
The only ones
Holding us...

We are blind
We are deaf
We'll choose what
We want to see
And close our ears
To the truth
We are blunt
We are pride
We'll draw the line
In YOUR dirt
And dare you to cross

Hello World

Hello world,
Here I am,
A shadow to you,
A shadow to myself.

The mirror reflects no image
The voice makes no sound
But these words echo in time
As long as there is humanity

Hello world,
Here I am,
A shadow to you,
A shadow to myself.

As long as there is anonymity
We can express ourselves
With no worries
No one can see us
But can they know us?

Hello world,
Here I am,
A shadow to you,
A shadow to myself.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Say Something (Anything)

I don't care what you say
Just say anything
Don't stare at me
With empty eyes
I can't stand this silence
It's haunted me far too long
Say something, anything
Let me hear your voice
So I know I'm not alone
Not speaking to the walls
Not going insane
Not talking to myself
I don't care what you say
Just say anything
Don't stare at me
With empty eyes
Such a blank expression
On your face
The silence is deafening
Just say something
Just say anything
Don't leave me in this
Haunting silence...

Thursday, December 13, 2007


Will someone please explain
This, principle of pain
What's its purpose?
Is there a reason
Behind the sadness?
Wipe away your tears
I find my dreams
To be paper wings
That burn in the sun
My hopes, founded in sand,
Are founded in sand
They sink in the sand
Buried in the sand
Give me foundation
Tell me the reasons

Alpha Bet

Alone before crimson. Daring
emerging fires. Gravely
heralding "invincible." Jarring kings.
Lamenting men not only perhaps.
Quietly running slaves.
Truly upon vengeance
We X.
Yourself zealous.

An Award

The Interesting Blog Award

Awarded by
to DR

never expected this. thank you Poetikat.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Too Close...for Comfort...

The deepest, darkest secret you've ever heard
Shed in a new light
The thoughts that ran through my head
The hesitation with every breath
Almost killed myself...once...

It was in mid-fall
With the grayest sky you've ever seen
And a wind that brought chills to your spine
My mind was a mess
My open-book heart was full of blank pages
Save for the spots of ink where someone almost started to write
Home alone, again,
Mind wandering
And wondering
Why keep going?

The knife was sharp
Never used it once
Thought about how quick it would be
If I stabbed my heart
Maybe the pain would feel comforting
Maybe my heart would finally have something to hold

But then, the memories flooded my thoughts
It was like emerging from a fog
And finally seeing what was in front of you
That blurred figure standing still as stone
Waiting for you

There was so much to live for
My whole life ahead of me
Hard to throw it away
It's not what she would want
It's not what he had taught me
Their words echoed in my ears
And the blade fell to the floor

I retreated to the corner
My hands were shaking
Breathing labored
Heart racing
I buried the knife
I even placed a gravestone
With the engraving "Suicide"

Too close...for comfort...

I will live on...writing...

Rings Around the Roses

I won't live with regret on my back
I'll search the world
For the cure
To this hurt
Bring on your worst
Your pain won't stop me now

Be calm, calm, calm,
Be calm, calm, calm,
Settle down...
We all fall...

I'll chase the light
Forever if it takes
Over land or by sea
I swear I'll catch it
I'll hold high
With both hands
I'll hold the cure
And relieve this hurt

I will prevail
Over Sorrow

Be calm, calm, calm,
Be calm, calm, calm,
Settle down...
We all fall...

Bring on your storms, Sorrow
I'll brave them without fail
Your winds of despair can't stop me
Your waves of tears won't stop me
I swear I'll bury you next to regret

Be calm, calm, calm
Be calm, calm, calm,
Settle down...
We all fall...

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Sympathy, Empathy

I'm waiting
Take my hand
And lead me
To your dreams
To the hopes
You hold
So dear in
Your heart

We're lacking

Tell me your fears
The reasons why
You shun the darkness
Why you hesitate
With every step
You take
Show me your memories
The images
That play
Over and over
And over again
In your mind

We're lacking

Lead me to
Your thoughts
Random musings
Of your mind
What are you thinking?
I will follow you
To your concerns
Do you worry
About what
Tomorrow holds?

We're lacking

As we come
To your heart
I feel
Perhaps starting
To understand
The other side

We're lacking

Monday, December 10, 2007


Are my dreams like a balloon?
So easily inflated
So easily popped
And then leaves nothing
But pieces
So hard to keep inflated
So hard to maintain
But it seems like it wants
To resist falling to the ground
It floats ever so gently
Barely makes a sound

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Paper Heart

Is my heart so frail
As paper?
Is it stapled to my sleeve
Displayed for all to see?
Is it so easily ripped,
Torn, shredded?
It's been written on
For the ink bleeds through
But the words are hardly discernable
Many are crossed out
Never meant to say that
But what if it runs out of space
To write?
Do I go get another one?
Or am I stuck with this one
With bleeding ink and crossed out words?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Cast the First Stone

I don't want to believe
Everyone's guilty, but
No one's exactly

Who hasn't lied?
Who hasn't cheated?
Who hasn't stolen?
Who hasn't hated?

Who's never surrendered,
Given in to desire?
Who holds no regrets,
Never wanted to take
Something back?

Who's never felt
The raging fire
Of Wrath,
Our Anger?
Who's never drowned
In the waters
Of Sorrow,
Who's never felt
The frigid winds
Of solitude?

Is there innocence?
Are there innocents?
Do we only dream of better?
Can I hope?
Should I hope?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


You laugh at me
Point and laugh
But quickly shut up
And pose innocent
When I come near
If you're going to mock,
Ridicule me,
At least do it in my face
Or stop acting like I never saw you
Because you can't hide in the light
Do you laugh at me
To make yourself feel better?
Are you so insecure
That you have to put me down
So you can rise up?
I posed no threat to you
And yet you attack me
Is it because you hate
That you're living a lie,
That you're plastic, fake,
And can't stand in the sun
Lest you melt?
At least have some integrity
Some responsibility
To account for your own actions
But I guess that's rare these days
I have done nothing to you
Save for this
But this is reasonable
Retaliate to retaliation with retaliation
Or so the world goes...


Don't pity me Father
I don't deserve it
Don't look at me, Father,
I'm no son
I've done something
So horrible
I can't possible be forgiven
I doubt mercy can save me now
Don't believe in me Father,
I'll only let you down
Don't worry about me, Father,
I'm not your son
The guilt is killing me
I've found no comfort
I've fallen too far from grace
Down is the only way left
I'll leave you
I'm sorry
So very sorry
But I know it's not enough

Monday, December 3, 2007

Don't Want to Forget Her

I don't ever want to forget her
So I'll dedicate this words
Record my memory
Tears are only temporary
But the sadness lingers
And the heart begins to heal
Slowly but surely
I have my pictures
Of her face
Of those eyes
That I could drown in
Of her smile
That made me smile
Without fail
But I wish I could hear her laughter again
So contagious
I wish her wings
Of white feathers
So she can fly all she wants
Feel the wind beneath her
Touch the clouds
Stare at the sun...

Saturday, December 1, 2007


The cold sets in
And my limbs numb
But it feels so comforting
So familiar
To not feel anything, anymore
I wish my heart could numb
So it could break
It could shatter
Into thousands of million of pieces
And I wouldn't feel a thing
I could bleed my heart out
And I wouldn't notice,
Wouldn't flinch
Would it be best
To be numb?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Close or Far?

Do we keep closest
The farthest
And keep farthest
The closest?

no tittle

The hours wane
And the light dwindles
I lay my eyes upon the sky
To see the moon rise
Is it too early for its light?
But the stars bleed
The darkest shade of blood
You've ever seen
Out on the street
Tires screech
As a sudden stop
Changes lives
The tracks are evident
The echoes of a scream

Broken Promise, Broken Wings

You broke your promise
Betrayed my trust
Tore my wings
Feather by feather
Now I fall
When I want to fly
The sky eludes me...

Give and Take

The rose delivered
Thorns intact
And petals withered

The dove given
Feathers plucked
And wings broken

The gown, the gift
Pure white silk
Torn and ripped

The heart
Still aching
Broken, shattered
Still bleeding

Monday, November 26, 2007

Innocence Accused

Defendant take the stand
Prosecutor commence
Answer in honesty...

Well honestly
Can you tell me?
You've never been
Where I've been?
Never seen
What I've seen?
You've never made
Any mistakes
And wanted
A second chance?
Honestly, can you tell me,
You're perfect?

Acting so high and mighty
Passing judgement
With no remorse
Ever thought it could be you
Taking the stand
Defending your innocence
With your fate already decided

When you're up on that seat
With hammer in hand
So quick to judge
So quick to decree
So quick to decide
They're guilty

But turn the tables
And see in honesty
People's true nature
When accused of guilty
Let's see you take the stand
So hesitant to speak
Look you're already sweating
Already twitching
Already second guessing

You condemn perjury
And sentence honesty
What's the point?

So Far

Miles away
From you and me
Miles away
So far you can't see
Miles away
The distance between
Miles away
It's killing me...

I Want

I want to wipe
Away your tears
I want to help
You conquer your fears
I want you to open
Your eyes and see
I want you to raise
Your voice and speak
So listen closely dear
I want to be there...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Silent Still World

What if the whole world were silent,
And painted in black and white,
If life was as still as the paintings...

A New Scar

Where did this come from?
I ask myself
When did I suffer a wound
So deep it would leave a mark?
Have I endured so much pain
So much suffering
That I don't even notice
The wounds anymore?
As if I don't have
Enough scars already
Has my heart been
So much
That I don't bother
Even to pick up the pieces?
Has my mind been boggled
By so many questions
With no clear answer
That I stop asking?
I wonder...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Don't follow me
Into my darkness
Stay away
My friend
Please keep your distance

I will face my demons
Of my own design
Who torment me
Bite my heels
With every step
I take

I will fall to rise
From this pit of pain
I've created
This cycle of despair

I don't want you to suffer
So stay away
Steer clear
Of me
This pain is mine
And mine alone
To bear
To live with

Keep your distance
My friend
Away from this
Self-consuming darkness
Don't follow me
And don't dare call me
A martyr
My pain, my problems
I'm no martyr...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Lost Today

Are we so afraid
So cautious
That we're scared of ourselves?
Can't trust anyone
Not even yourself
Has the world become so dark
So eclipsed by correctness?
Have we had so much revenge
An eye for an eye
That the whole world is blind?
So stereotypical
That no one can change
Who they seem to be?
No one can replace their appearance
With their heart?
With their being?
Isn't it the inside that counts?

Confusing As It Is

Maybe it's wrong
To feel about her the way I do
Perhaps I move to fast
Fall in love to easily
But it's so comforting
Or maybe I'm that naive
Could it be that I care too much?
I know her beauty
Her flaws
Her quirks
And I wish I could reach her heart
But I feel like she's so far away
Maybe it was a mistake
Or maybe I'm the one that's drifting
I wish I could stay by her side
The times when she's sick
I wish I could be there
To cheer her up
When she's down
Maybe I'm too easily attached
Maybe I fall in love too fast
Is it wrong to feel about her
The way I do?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Be Heard

Let your voice be heard
Say what you want to say
Don't stay silent
Just let it all out
Hold nothing back
Hold nothing back
They can take it or leave it
But they'll have to hear it

Even if they try to ignore,
They start to avoid you
Never stay quiet
Never stay quiet
Someone will listen
They just haven't found you yet

Be it speaking,
or writing,
or typing
Say what you want
Never give up
Never give up
On yourself

Let it all out
Let yourself be heard
Say what you want to say

Hold nothing back
Never stay quiet
Never give up

Someone will listen...
Someone will listen...


Hope seems bleak
But it's there
There's always light
In the darkness

You have strength
You have will
You can do it on your own
You can, yes you can

I know
You have the strength
In your heart
Just look inside
You'll find it
And I know
You have the will to carry on
Bear this burden on your shoulders
And still chase your dreams
Running out full speed

If you find yourself falling
You're not alone
If you find yourself breathing
You're not alone
If you find yourself doubting
You're not alone
If you find your heart beating
You're not alone

You have strength
You have will
You can do it on your own
You can, yes you can

I don't want you to cry
Please wipe those tears from your eyes
Let yourself smile
Let yourself laugh

You can, yes you can

Stand strong,
Hold on,

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Color Tone

I could blend in the shadows
Or fade in the light
Or stand still in the gray
And be lost in every shade

Saturday, November 17, 2007


Something maybe I should've explained before...

Why the name,
Because of anonmity
To be unknown
But heard
Almost ironic...

I faced the dragon
And ripped of its wings
Used them to fly
Search the world
For something
Or someone...

But they chased me down
By burning the sky
Searching parties
Are after me
As I hide myself
I discard my identity
So they won't see me
So they won't find me
But neither can she...


A double-edged sword...



One moment depressed
Another uplifting
Still another regretful
Then shameful
Then curious
And again happy
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I insane?
Or am I just humane?
I feel like I keep drifting
Between the light and the darkness
And infinite shades of gray
The sky is falling
Or is the ground rising?

In A Heartbeat

No matter how far I am
No matter how long I've gone away
(Be back in a heartbeat)
I'll be back in a heartbeat
No matter who I'm talking to
No matter what I'm doing
(Be back in a heartbeat)
I'll be back in a heartbeat
If you find yourself between
A rock and a hard place
(Just call my name)
I'm on my way
If you're in trouble,
Feeling down,
Need a friend
(Just call my name)
I'll be back in a heartbeat

I'm coming back
Coming back
Coming back
I'll be back in a heartbeat
I'm on my way
On my way
Almost there
Wait just a little longer...

I'll always be there
(Always be there)
I'll never abandon you
I'll always be there
(Always be there)
I'll never abandon you

Friday, November 16, 2007

The Puppeteer

What a talented puppeteer
She has so many men
Wrapped around her finger
She wears them as rings
To show off to everyone
They have strings attached
And no consciousness
She controls their every movement
Their every breath
They won't stop coming
Falling for outside beauty
Only to find themselves
On shelves
Beside hundreds of others
She gets gifts
They lose the money
She gets the attention
They lose their free will
I'm glad I have
A pair of scissors
No strings for me...

Feeling Psycho

Have you ever felt like
Ripping out your heart
Only to smash it to pieces
So you wouldn't feel anymore?

What if I
Erase my
Erase my memories,
My mistakes,
My regrets
And erase her
An eraser

I'm banging my head
And pounding my fists
Against this wall
I can't think anymore

These cuts only go so deep
I can barely breathe
My patience has run out
My pride is shattered

I've fallen
I'm falling
I've fallen
And I keep falling...

To The Slaughter

We herd them
Cage them
Bathe and feed them
All the while
Hiding our intentions
Behind lying smiles
And deceiving eyes

We sacrifice their lives!

So send the lambs
To the slaughter
Let their blood be spilled
So we can keep
All that we hold dear
Costing us nothing
But gaining everything

All their friends
And family
Can be damned for all we care
All that matters
Is the wealth,
The material things
That we guard so tightly

So send the lambs
To the slaughter
Let their blood be spilled
So we can keep
All that we hold dear
Costing us nothing
But gaining everything

But in the end...
We have no lambs
No scapegoats, no martyrs
Nothing to save us
But ourselves
Where will we be
Ten years from now?

I don't think I want to find out...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


I can't help but laugh
When you say "sorry"
Because you never mean it
You never mean anything!
"I'm sorry"
"I'll never do it again"
"I promise"
"I love you...:

What a liar!
Stop promising
Stop promising
Your words mean nothing to me
Stop promising
Stop promising
You sack of lies

The only thing I ever got from you
Were false hopes and fake dreams
You built me up
Only to tear me down
Drag me down
With you...

Stop promising
Stop promising
Your words will come back to haunt you
Stop promising
Stop promising
Ever heard of karma?

What a liar!

It's all a game to you
It's all a game to you
It's time you lose...

My Enemy

Looking at a photo
I see me and my enemy
Holding hands
As friends
How ironic
That we were so close
Yet went opposite directions
The space between us
Is enough to circle the world
Three times over
We're that different
Like two negative charged magnets
There is no way we'll be together
Unless we're forced to
But even then we won't stay
I don't even remember how we drifted so far apart
All I know is we can never be close
The hatred is only visible to the trained eye
One that has seen fire in water

Pesky Raven

The raven pecks my window
I chase it away
But it flies in a circle
And returns to peck my window


I'm trying to write
But my hand shakes with anger
I'm losing my mind
My sanity


Get away from my window!
Let me be
Get away from my window!
Leave me alone

My patience is broken
I watch the glass shatter
As you fall
And silence comes

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Adoration: Innocent Life

The street went on
As far as his eyes could see
He glanced at the rear view mirror
And adored his son
What a beautiful baby!
He couldn't help but stare
And admire
His own flesh and blood
He watched his son laugh
He watched his son smile
His eyes drifted from the road...
What a beautiful baby!
I guess the other driver didn't think so...

It happened so fast
The speed was blinding
Shattered glass
Twisted metal
Screeches of collision and
It echoes

He crawls out of the deathtrap
Engines in flames
His ears ringing
His body bleeding
He searches the destruction
Where is his son?
He turns over what was a door
And finds the corpse
Grief shreds his heart
He can hear the sirens coming
As a shard of glass gleams
Calling him...

Monday, November 12, 2007

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Your Savior

I want to be a savior...

I want to save you...

Give me wings and I will fly
Soar through the sky
To your rescue...

Give me a sword and I will slay
All in my way
I'm coming for you...

Give me a shield and I will guard
Spill my blood
I will protect you...

Give me the strength and I will fight
For the sake of love
All for you...

I want to be...

Your savior...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Get Well Soon

Wait a second
Sit down
Take a deep breath
Forget about what's happening
Can you hear your heart beating?
Can you feel your heart beating?
You're alive
That alone is enough

Are you feeling better?
Do you feel better?
Are you feeling better?
Get well soon

Hush now
Can you hear yourself breathing?
Can you feel yourself breathing?
The calm,
Imagine yourself in the sky
Amongst the clouds
Above all else

Are you feeling better?
Do you feel better?
Are you feeling better?
Get well soon

Don't worry


I wish there was an eraser
So I could erase my mistakes
I wish memories receeded
So I could forget her

I wish my wounds stopped bleeding
I wish my heart wasn't so fragile
I wish I had wings
So I could fly instead of fall
Fall for her
Fall for anything
Was I that naive?
Or was I that deceived?

I wish I could start over
Have a second chance
But would it be worth it?
What if it only ended again
In the same tragedy?
Mistakes repeated
Could I erase it again?

I wish there was an eraser
So I could erase my mistakes
I wish memories receeded
So I could forget her

So I could erase her...

Love for a Heart Out of Reach

I'd love to make her laugh
To make her smile
To hold her when she's cold
To hold her for the sake of holding her
To talk to her
To listen to her
To cheer her up when she's done
To go someplace in the dead middle of the night
Just to be with her
To gaze into her eyes

I'd tell her she's beautiful
She doesn't need make up
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
And beauty is all I see
When I look at her

I'd scream for her
I'd bleed for her
I'd even die for her
I'd love her that much

How many words have I written for her?
How many sheets of paper for her?
How much ink and lead and minutes for her?
How many memories of her?
How many regrets of her?

But she's miles away
Even standing next to me
Because she lost in a different world
And I can't enter
She breaks her heart
And I'd pick up the pieces
But she won't listen...

She's drifting farther and farther away...

Why do I love her?

Too much heartache...
Too much pain...
Too much regret...

She's drifted away...
Out of reach...

Those Who Fight the Wars

One soldier said,
"The past is your last breath,
The present is this breath,
And the future is your next breath."
Surrounded by death
By carnage
By constant sorrow
They carry on
Fight on
They're not killing machines
The opposite, really
They're human
They have hopes
They have dreams
They have regrets
They have heartaches
Some have lovers they wish to protect
Others have families they wish to keep
Uncertain of their time
Uncertain of reasons
They fight on
Humanity fights on

Friday, November 9, 2007

They Come For Us All

I refuse
To bend my knee to you
To abide by your rules
To change by your judgements
To conform to the crowd
I'll do what I want
What I feel
This is my life
Stop trying to control it
I'm no animal
I'm not property
I am human
I am me
But you insist on marching
Continue to harass me
No one is the same
And that is for good reason
What joy is there in life
If everything is the same?
Diversity fuels creativity
And creativity feeds the soul
Gives it expression and bliss
But you are Hell-bent on making
This world like you
You exclude
You ridicule
You judge
I laugh at you
For you think you have so much power
So much influence
That you forget
You're outnumbered

Autumn Frost

It's so cold
Maybe it's because the leaves fall
And the trees take a grim appearance
Maybe it's because the winds rise
As the sun falls
Or maybe it's because
Sorrow walks beside me
And regret grips my heart
Maybe it's because the sky is so depressing
With its indecisiveness
Black or white?
Dark or light?
Neither: gray
I can't even sleep anymore
I drift asleep in cold
I awake in cold
The sun doesn't even rise anymore
It hides in the clouds
In comfort, in warmth
Away from this autumn frost
Winter's coming...

Friday, November 2, 2007

Painting the Walls

If I painted these walls red
Would they reek of blood?
If I painted them blue
Would I drown in them?
If I painted them black
Would I be lost in darkness?
If I painted them white
Would they blind my eyes?
If I painted them green
Would they torture me
With memories of her
And a broken heart

Calling Out

I wander the darkness
Listening to echoing sounds
I run through the darkness
Listening to the wind
Hoping to hear your voice again

I'm calling out your name
I'm calling out your name
I'm calling out your name
Please come back to me

My heart is gone
Have you seen it?
I ask everyone around
My heart is gone
Have you seen it?
Follow the trail
Of blood they say

I'm calling out your name
I'm calling out your name
I'm calling out your name
Please come back to me

Thursday, November 1, 2007


To be lost in her eyes
To swim in those deep blue oceans
For hour after hour
To walk with her
Holding hands
Just to know she's there
To talk on the phone with her
For hours on end
Talking about trivial things
That don't even matter
To cheer her up when she's feeling down
To make her laugh
To make her smile
Brightening up my day
While the angels sing
To hold her
Embrace her
Kiss her
Look at her
Write to her
Talk to her
To be with her
What I wouldn't do...

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I wish it was that easy
I wish it was that simple
To lay out everything in front of me
Reveal every hard-kept secret
Tell the truth about every lie I've told
Lift this burden from my shoulders
But pride is a hard enemy to defeat
Guilt is friend I don't want
Shame is someone I don't want to meet again
All is exposed in the light...
Is that why I hide in darkness?

Monday, October 29, 2007

I Sorry

I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I'm only human

I make mistakes
I have regrets
I have memories I wish
I could forget
I bleed
I hurt
I feed
I thirst

I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted
I'm sorry I'm not what you thought
I'm sorry I'm not like you
I'm sorry I can't be like you

I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I'm only human

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Will we die by fire?
Burning away
Burning our time,
Our life away
Do we feed the embers
And fan the flames?
As we watch the smoke rise
And suffocate
We try to save ourselves
But it's too late
Watch us burn down
To ashes
And be swept away
By wind,
By rain

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Relating to Myself

I think that I relate better with my shadow
Than my reflection in the mirror
Because the shadow retains anonymity
Yet giving shape to a human
I feel the mirror betrays me
I don't see myself as myself
I see me in a different way
Through different eyes
But few could ever understand that
Time may change my appearance
And that is the curse of seeing
My reflection in the mirror
But my shadow will stay the same
Retain its form, anonymity
Because the soul is eternal
And never fades
But the mirror breaks

Words Drifting In My Mind...

Why can't I stay
In paradise?
I keep falling
And have fallen
From grace

Why is it I always try
Yet never win?

These words will only last
As long as paper

A Story

The setting is five years 'till now
And the main character
Is her
I hope,
Not static
But the plot is always the same
Her heart gets broken
Over and over again
And she cries
To deal with the pain
And it's tearing me up inside
I want to see her smile
I'd love to hear her laugh
To shed tears of joy
And forget her sadness
If only for an instant
But the story ends here
I'm so far away
Despite close distance
In her mind I fade
And now she won't listen
To me
Don't you hate it
When your desire
Eludes your grasp?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

To Her (It's Not Your Fault)

You told me to leave
Let me pack my things
And I'll go
But not before I write
These words for her
Not before I write
This letter

I'm sorry, but I have to leave
I hope over time,
You'll come to forgive me
Don't worry, it's not your fault
Please don't blame yourself
For me being gone

I walk out the door
And you hurry me
You can't wait to see me leave
I swallow my pride
And say goodbye
You don't care
But it was intended for her
To help her remember

I want her to know
I'll miss those times
When we were happy
And laughter was contagious
You hate me now
But I still love you
And I miss her
I miss her

I'm sorry, but I have to leave
I hope over time,
You'll come to forgive me
Don't worry, it's not your fault
Please don't blame yourself
For me being gone

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I guess these words can't reach you
I don't know how far you are
I can't judge the distance
Between you and me
Between you and me
I would run
Around and around and around
In circles again
I'd do anything
Anything for you

But you walk away
Turn and walk away
One foot in front of the other
Put one foot in front of the other
Keep looking straight
Don't look back on the past
I'll fade

How many years has it been
Since you took my heart
And choked it to death?
Burned out my passion
And scattered the ashes?

Yet you stand before me today
My heart lays in bandages
I can't breathe
I can't speak
What words can I say
To make you understand me?
What words can I possibly say
To make you believe?
To make you feel my pain?
Here's a thought:

How Human

How do you do it?
How do you act so
It's hard to imitate
You, your movements
How do I be human?
How can I be like you
And enjoy life too
I try and try and try again
But nothing ever happens
Maybe I'm doing it wrong
How do I be human?


My sense of humor died today
I can't laugh
I can't smile
There's nothing funny
I hate people
No warmth in my heart
Frozen solid
Where is the humor in life?
We struggle
Fight to stay alive
My sense of humor died today
And I buried it

Monday, October 8, 2007

Half An Hour

I remember
You told me once
How you used to spend your nights
Staying up all night
Studying for the final
Well I stared out my window
Thoughts of you running through my mind
I failed the test
I failed that test

So let's spend
Half an hour
Talking about
I'm a failure
To you and
To myself

I could never
Work up the courage
To ask you to dance with me
All night long
And I never got to
Asking you
Do you love me too
Because I know I love you

So let's spend
Half an hour
Talking about
I'm a failure
To you and
To myself

Why can't I
Ever find her

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Pale Blue

These walls
Of vengeance come
Crashing down
Crushing all
Search the rubble
For the conscience
I left behind
To fend for itself

Pale blue
Seeps through
Drips into my veins
Wake up
It's all just a dream

The light
Is blinding to
My eyes
And the darkness
Distorts me
So where
Do I draw
The line
Between right and wrong

Pale blue
Seeps through
Drips into my veins
Wake up
It's all just a dream
Pale blue
Seeps through
Drips into my veins
Wake up
It's all a fucking dream

Friday, October 5, 2007


I thought I was past this
Thought I had moved on
But my heart won't listen
To rational thought

Sometimes desire
Doesn't go hand in hand
With reality

Life is so frustrating

Useless Name

Forget the name
It'll never amount to anything
It'll always be worthless
It won't take you anywhere
It won't make the people stare
So forget this name
Because you're better off on your own
All alone in this world
And making a new name

But I'll take this name
For all it's worth
Even if that's less than dirt
I'll make it famous
Heads will turn when they hear it
And then I'll come back with the news
And give it back to you

Short and Simple

We all seek comfort
Some will stop at nothing to get it
Some will never find it
Others find their glass of comfort
Half empty, half full
To love
Be loved
To rule
To be free
To save
What is my comfort?
What is your comfort?

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


We step on others
To reach the top
Of the mountain
Called achievement
Who cares if
They suffer?
Who cares for
Their comfort?
Being number one
Is all that matters
We stop at nothing
To get what we want
We snatch it
With both hands
To ensure possession
"Why do I need others?
I have me."
It's in all of our minds
But it's up to us
The person
To choose to listen
To our selfishness
Or not

Deaf Ear

The words we don't want to hear
We turn a deaf ear to
You're selfish,
A liar,
You don't belong,
You're wrong

We stifle the voices
And seek after silence
We yell at the top of our lungs
Just to hear ourselves

When the blame is on us
We pass it on to another
And accuse them
Of what we've done
Let them suffer
The consequences

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Life Is A Gamble

How do I know she won't
Take my heart and
Tear it to pieces
And scatter the ashes
Of trust?
I don't

How do I know they will
Judge for who I am
And not what I am?
I don't

How do I know
What to do with my life?
How to support a family?
What to teach a life?
I don't

But I have the faintest idea
And I'm all in on it
I'll risk all I have for it
And cast the dice
And hope I'll land
A lucky number seven
Maybe not

I Am...Human

I am
But most of all
I am mortal,

Dusk to Dawn

As the grass sheds
Its last tears of the night
And as the clouds continue
To head toward disaster
As the peaceful moon
Flees from the raging sun
And the stars hide in fear
Fade from sight

The stars creep back
To the sky for all to see
The moon finds peace
In losing the vengeful sun
The clouds conceal
Their movements
The grass weeps again
For losing its sun

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Maybe shyness is a blessing
And ignorance is bliss
Being different,
And separated from the crowd
A talent perhaps
Standing on the other side
Of the looking glass
And looking in
The value of the darkness is
No one can see you
Is a relief
No one can judge you
By your appearance
Only by your words
Can they grasp
The essence
Of your person
To understand
The struggle to express oneself
In a world filled with ridicule
Call it cowardice
But it has its advantages


Sex surrounds me
"I would" this
"I'd hit" that
I'm sick of it all
Why is my gender
So blind?
They can't see
The ripples in the water
Cause and Effect
"Fear nothing" they say
But what of the inevitable?
Can you really ignore
What is bound to happen?
"Be a man" they say
Define man for me
Is he a reckless,
Emotionless, overbearing,
Lustful, ignorant
Does he define weakness
As emotion?
Such a stereotype...

Friday, September 21, 2007


To be as fluid as water
To adapt to my confinement
To be as anonymous as the wind
To be heard and felt
And never be seen
To be as aggressive as fire
To consume all impeding my path
To further myself
And turn all else to ash
To be as stubborn as a rock
To be resistent, fearless
To be as quick as lightning
Senn only for an instant
Yet leave my mark
In memories, nightmares,
Fears, and on trees
To be as persistent as a weed
Always reaching towards the sky
Towards tomorrow
A new day
The future
Yet always having someone
Trying to kill me


In this tangled web of lies
I find myself
Binded with
False hopes and
Impossible dreams
My vision
Has been filtered
By your beliefs
Not mine
I only see what you see
I find myself
To be who I want to be
To see what I want to see
And no longer
Be a shadow
Of you

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


The city was built on death
The dead are living
And the living are dead
Real strive to be fake
And the fake pretend to be real

Life In Dreaming

If we could all
Live in our dreams
Our fantasies
Would we all
Be happy?
Could the world
Be perfect?
And mistakes
Shattered lives
Pieced together
And suffering
Hearts mended?
Could we find
Peace in the
Midst of
Or would our
Dreams become
Distorted and
Warped into
With terrors
Unknown to
The reality
Of the world?
Could we really
Face our fears
And be the hero
Everyone wants
To be?
In our dreams...

What Next?

He wonders
Does she love him
As much as he loves her
The suspension
Awaiting her phone call
Is killing him
The phone rings
And he picks it up
Catches his breath
And says "Hello"
All he hears is
"I don't love you"
Her words echo in his ears
"I don't love you"
"I don't love you"

It's a mixture of pain,
Anger, and sadness
He's torn apart
Try to pick up the pieces
Of a broken heart
Where does he go from here?

He's heard all he needs to hear
So he hangs up
Throws the phone down
And collapses on the floor
All the time he spent with her
She didn't care
All the things he did for her
She didn't care
He gave her kisses
And she gave him a dagger
Straight through the heart

It's a mixture of pain,
Anger, and sadness
He's torn apart
Try to pick up the pieces
Of a broken heart
Where does he go from here?


Can you accept your flaws,
Problems, and
Or do you blame another
For everything wrong?
Do you deflect
The consequences
Of your actions
And pass pain
On to the innocent?
You sacrifice a scapegoat
To appease your suffering

We all have problems,
Troubles, flaws
But we each have to
Stand up and bear
Our mistakes,
Our shortcoming
To retain clear conscience

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


She's spoiled rotten
To the core
She reeks
Of selfishness
Flaunts her millions
To the world
And provokes
Jealousy, envy
In the hearts
Of her enemies
But her money
Taunts the hungry
Those who don't
Have enough to eat
Who suffer from
Of the stomach-food
Of the heart-love

Monday, September 17, 2007


What can I say?
I'm speechless
When she talks to me
I'm short of breath
My lungs fail
Soon I'm suffocating
My knees give out
I'm falling for her
I can see the ground
Fast approaching
And she's just
Watching me
With those eyes
Deep as the sea
And I get lost in them
Then drown
Her smile is so bright
So radiant
Just like the sun
It's blinding
But my heart beats faster
When our hands touch
Soon it begins
Skipping beats
It flatlines
She's so beautiful
It's deadly

Sunday, September 16, 2007


I turn this pages
And remember the faces
The people
My classmates
They've all gone their separate ways
But there's still pieces of them in me
Years we've spent together
It's only natural
But still...

Even though we went through
The same challenges every year
I still hate him
I can't even remember the reason
Call it foolishness
Or pride
But I can't stand him
And I get the feeling
He can't stand me

She was the first to steal my heart
And one of the first I heard
To get hers broken
I always hear of her and another guy
Every month
She can't seem to find happiness
How tiny are the pieces
Of a heart thats been trampled on
So many times?

My friends may be few
But we'll be together for life
Even if fate takes us different places
They're here in my heart
How could I ever forget them?

Every year
Our life changes

Home Movies

It's almost funny
I watch these recorded images
My childhood
But I don't remember a thing
Who is she?
And him?
Are they related to me?
Is that really me
Or a distortion?
Those years
Escape the grasp
Of my mind
A receding memory
The days of old fade
With each new day
Why can't I remember?

Friday, September 14, 2007

If Only

If only my heart wasn't tainted
And this blade wasn't dull
If only my mind was clear
And temptation stopped its attacks

If only I could breathe
And words didn't sound so empty
If only sleep didn't elude me
And I wasn't blind

If only my body stopped bleeding
And I stopped falling
If only this pain stopped hurting
And my spirit stayed in one piece

If only...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Failed Effort

I am at a loss for words
Can I really describe the turmoil inside?
I will try

Love is impossible
I've lost all hope
I've tried too hard
Too many times
I remember their faces
But they all walked away
Out of range
Of my mind's eye sight

As I look back now
I can see that they were not for me
But that doesn't ease the turmoil
The longing for comfort
For love
But it's impossible
I want to try
But there isn't anything for me here
There is no one for me here
Patience is a virtue
That's so hard to maintain

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Her body's tense
As she struggles to walk
Like any other person
To divert attention
From herself
Her hands clutch
Her elbows
And her head is down
With eyes closed
To shut out
The images

For when they're open
Her eyes
And she looks
She sees the dead
Above the ground
Her ears
Can hear
The sound
Of the dead
Walking on thin air

She can't help
But let out
The shrillest scream
You've ever heard
The dead are among us
Watching our every step
Longing for every moment
They missed

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Move to Your Own Rhythm

When others put you down
They do it to stand up
Don't listen to them

Go by what you feel
And what you think
And what you believe

Others will try
To lead you astray
And lose yourself
Trying to fit in
With the crowd
Stay true to yourself
Live on the inside
Along with the outside
As they die on the inside
Rejecting it, their inner self,
While trying too hard
Living on the outside

Move to your own rhythm
Create your own beat
Let your music lead you
Let it inspire
Share it with all

Follow your heart
It can't lie to you
Spread your wings
And soar through the sky

Not to be Taken for Granted

He played football
His freshmen year
From the pain and the struggle
He received a knee injury
Never went to the hospital
To get it checked
But two years later
At the end of junior year
During finals
That pain in his knee
Came back to haunt him
It pestered him
Everywhere he went
And after finally going
To the doctor
And getting it checked
It was a tumor
He had cancer

They inject poison
Into his body
To kill the disease
But its killing him
Vomitting repeatedly
Not eating for days
Finding comfort
Only in sleep
He's apart from the rest of us
As a senior
He goes through
What most hope not to
All from his ignorance
Thinking he can take it

Mercy grant him strength
In his struggles

Life takes many turns
Many choices are laid out
In front of us
But it takes only one thing
To change our lives
For the worst
For the better
Health is a blessing
Not a given
Life is precious
Cherish it

Written on the Walls

These walls are covered
In the scarlet red ink
Of blood
Written in cursed cursive
And why am I compelled
To read
These ominous words
Foretelling death?

They say
Curiousity killed the cat
But it consumes us humans
We pry in others' business
Wanting to know
Needing to know
What happened
When we don't belong there
Why do we insist
On reading
The words on these walls

The media portrays
Only the negative side
Of things
They devote an hour
Or ten pages
Of a death
Caused by gang violence
When only five minutes
Or two paragraphs
Mention that a life
Was saved today
We are attracted to negativity
We crave despair
The writing on the walls

Sunday, September 9, 2007

One Question

Is comfort so far
So out of reach
That we can only see
But never have?


In the land
Where the light fades
And the shadows blend
And echoes whisper
In your ear
He stands
With an outstretched arm
Reaching for something
As he stares off in the distance
All the while
Drinking it in
With a wine glass in his
Other hand
But it shatters as he
Falls to the floor

They find his body
In the same place
Fallen on the floor
Hasn't moved an inch
But his arm's still reaching
His eyes are still staring

In the land with
Dying trees
And changing leaves
Where the air's so cold
You can't breathe
Lest you freeze
She stands
With her arms spread
And her eyes towards the sky
Wishing for frozen wings
Just so she can fly

They find her too
As still as a statue
And the clearest shade of blue
Frozen solid


It surrounds us
Suffocates our minds
Everywhere you hear it
And see it
Some even believe
That they need to change
Their appearance and
Acquire the latest
To fit in
Get attention
To be loved...

Since when has being a criminal
Become admirable?
Why spend ridiculous amounts
Of hard earned money
For a shirt
That serves the same purpose
As one that bears
No brand name

Why should I work
To belong
To the "in" crowd
And have false friends
With fake smiles
When I have true friends
People that accept me
For who I am
Not what I am

Thursday, September 6, 2007


The cure eludes me
Give me a medication
A prescription
For a broken heart
To pick up the pieces
Of a shattered image

...there isn't one...

If my heart stopped beating
Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much
I'd stop bleeding
If I stopped breathing
Then I'd have an excuse
For being speechless
If I were blind
Then maybe I could see

I've seeked comfort in the wrong place
Too many times before
My legs are broken
From falling for her
And my scars run deep

How long will it take to heal?


Those who walked beside me
Have taken different paths
I walk alone
Through the uncharted
Past the unknown
I follow
My heart, my desire
With these wings
I'll go higher
Fly farther

I walk my own path
Make my own destiny
I'll be who I want to be
I won't bow down
With the rest of the crowd
I'll be one in a thousand

Let them say what they say
I'll write what I think
And suffer the consequences
I'll write the truth
As I see it
But leave it for others
To discover
For themselves

Wednesday, September 5, 2007


It's because of her
That I cried
At night
It's because of her
That I
Almost gave up
My life
Because of her
My mind's
A mess
Because of her
I live
With regret
She was the one for me
But I wasn't the one for her

Tuesday, September 4, 2007


I hate you
I can taste the sickness
As it creeps up my throat
At the sound of your name
With a clenching fist
I can bear a moment
Next to you
But the air around you
Is suffocating
And I see you in flames
I hate you


How does 1 control 40
If majority rules?
Why do the masses not revolt
Like in the times of old?
Are they satisfied
Content with life?
If so then why do they complain?
Why don't the 40
Overtake the 1?
Why do the 40
Fall into line
And obey?
It's only 1!
Last time I checked

The Book (Used)

Used only to get
What he wants
To know
To experience
Over time
The pages tear
And grow old
And he has what
He wants
So he puts it back
On the shelf
It collects dust
As its forgotten

The Pen (Slave)

It spills its blood
Its life
Onto the corpses of trees
It bends to its master's will
No choice
No freedom
And when its life has run
Its course
And it dies
No funeral
Only replacement...

Monday, September 3, 2007

Memory of an Angel

I saw you again last night
In my dream
And you were looking at me
With those angel eyes
And I smiled
Then we kissed
Oh, bliss

But you faded
And I woke up
I looked at your picture
Like I've done so many times
Longing for you

The truth is
You'll never know
Because it's a secret
That I regret
I never told you
How I feel
I never told you
Those three words
That you longed to hear
I wanted to tell you...

Catch the Falling

The light blinds her eyes
And burns her skin
As she falls deeper
Into the darkness
Where demons of
Her own design
Torture her every thought
The silence is deafening
She lets out a silent scream
There is no sound
Her voice has been stolen
By someone else
The sin, the tragedy
Is all she knows
Someone catch her
Before she hits the ground
Just reach out your hand
Catch her...
Save her...

Saturday, September 1, 2007


To hide one's identity
Sacrifice glory
For shelter
To remain a mystery
With no answers
Only unclear clues
To become distant
From anyone
To be on the outside
Looking in
Because no one
Can see you


Time heals
Bleeding wounds
There's always scars
No matter how small
The cut...

Time heals
Bleeding wounds
There's always scars
No matter how small
The cut...

Time heals
Bleeding wounds
There's always scars
No matter how small
The cut...

Silent Suffering

The worst pain, I think
Is one that is silent
No one can hear you scream
Not that they would care
One thinks...

She tells him all her heartbreaks
And he makes her laugh without fail
Cheers her up and helps her find
Herself when she's lost
But her heart keeps breaking
Because she fails to see
The love of her life
Is right in front of her
But he keeps quiet, silent
And dies inside
Little by little

The father keeps reminding his son
To never do it again
But the son turns away
And runs from him
The father knows the better
Because he's done it before
But the son doesn't believe it
And the father is forced to keep silent
And await the news of his son's death

He's always picked on
Always excluded
Never shown any mercy
And for what reason?
The answer eludes him
As he suffers in silence
Fuel to the fire

Literate Confusion

I'm lost within the pages of my own life
Traversing sentences
And scaling paragraphs
Searching for an escape
I've traveled chapter after chapter
Time never slows
But speeds up

These pages are old and new
Some are worn away
Others will never do
So many papercuts
Bleeding blood
I need a bandage

This text is written in
Pitch black ink of
Cursed cursive
So many memories
Remembered in simple words
Written on simpler paper

I can't find the last chapter
Of this storybook
The pages keep on turning
But I'm stuck on this chapter


Take me away from this place
Take me away from this pain
Take me away, from these memories
That I never wanted to keep

I keep running and running
Away from my troubles
Running and running
For miles and miles
I've never known a place to call my home
My home
I've never known a place to call my own
My own
I've never seen a face that I know
I know
I've never seen a face to call my own
My own

Running away
Leave it today
Forget the pain,
All the memories
Why stay?

Haunting Memory

Everywhere he looks
He sees her face
Its not a smile
Or a laugh
But a scream

He's broken so many mirrors
Because he can't stand to look
At himself
At who he used to be
"That's not me," he says,
"People can change.
I can change."

Eludes him
But he will never
Stop his quest
Never surrender
"For her sake.
As well as mine..."


I stand here above your grave
And you're watching me
This pain
Saddens my life

Do you remember
Better times
When you were alive...

We used to stare at the moon
And wish for our desires
Now I stare at the night sky
And wish for you second chance at life

Come back to me...
Come back to me...

I remmber your smile
And the joy that filled your eyes
When I came back home
And you whispered
Softly in my ear
"I missed you"
I miss you
I miss you

I will never forget you...

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Funeral Unknown and the Vain Attempt of a Child

As a young boy
Maybe five or so
I was taken to a funeral
Of someone I wish I'd known

My mother
Was in so much pain
From staring at the grave
Of her father
Her tears
Flooded the grass
My very feet
I couldn't take it anymore
Didn't want to see her cry

So I used my hands
And covered her eyes
Covered her eyes
Thinking that
If she couldn't see
What caused her
So much suffering
Then she'd be alright
Maybe she wouldn't cry

Childish I know
But if you were me
You would've done the same thing
For the one that raised you
Cared for you
And caught you when
You fell
Gave you a kiss
Without fail

Year by year
On the day of his death
She lights a single candle
And pays her respects
I watch this
And regret
Having missed
The chance
To meet my grandfather

Regretful Wish

She's so young
So innocent
To the cruelness of fate
Unforgiving time
I hope
For her sake
She stays pure
So innocent...

But it's been
How many years?
She's growing up
Becoming a young adult
A teenager
Full of questions
What should I tell her?
The truth of the world?
That life isn't fair?
You can't get what you want?

She's a grown woman now
She can take care of herself
She's learned the truth
On her own
However grim
Or disheartening it was

I regret
Letting her go
On her own
But it had to be done
I can't keep her forever

Sometimes I wish
That I could have stopped
The hands of time
And kept her young
So innocent...
And prevent the pain
From learning the truth
That comes with age

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Utter Chaos

This world is full of sacrafice
Don't look now but close your eyes
And see the blood spilled on the floor
He will rest forever more
Veins wide open and dry
All she ever does for him is cry
Will the pain escape from them tonight?
Or will their grief cloud their precious minds?
They've devoured his insides
Consumed his soul
Now they are outside
Wreaking havok upon the world
And that is the time to look to the sky
For the hero to come and save our lives
Hope in physical form
Prepare yourself for the coming storm
Thunder and lightning fill the sky
While forces of good and evil collide
Who will be the victor?
And be the one to "save" her?
These and other questions
Echo in the minds of creation

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Guardian

When I close my door, you open it up
When I stray away, you pull me by your side
When I say it's impossible, you tell me to try

You've always protected me. No matter what.
When others fall, you are the first to stand up

You've always been there
Even if you're gone, you're here
In my heart
With you, I can face the dark

Gentle giant,
Compassionate king,
Wounded hero that bleeds,
Yet strives on
For what he believes.
Never gives up.

Times struggles to catch up
But you leave it behind
Tell it to eat your dust

I know one day you'll be gone
Because time will eventually catch up,
But he'll be out of breath,
And he'll only catch you beacause
You stopped to rest.
He'll take you to Death
Who will have his hands full
Just trying to take you down.
You've rested and are ready for anything
To come your way.


Oh, what I would give...
To see her smile
To brighten up my day
What I would give...
To hear her laughter
And the angels,
They would sing

Oh, what I would do...
To mend her heart
Bring the sun back to her skies
What I would do...
To have her feel comfort
And bring back in the light

Age of Innocence

Remember way back when
We were young
Too small to harm

And we only had to work to walk
To get what we want

When the only world we knew
Was the living room
And the rest of the house

The only things to fear
Were the monsters in the closet
And under the bed

The only arguements:
Who gets to watch what when
And who gets to play with what first

When the days were short
And the night stayed young

Oh, how we've come so far
From such humble beginnings
How much has become
So complicated
Problems that
We didn't even know
Trouble our thoughts
Everyday of our lives

Turn back the hands of time
And return
To the age of innocence
My bliss

The Difference Between

He wants her body
She wants his love
He lacks emotion
She lacks the knowledge
To understand
The difference between
Lust and love

Don't fall for him
Unless you like
The taste of dirt
In your mouth
He won't catch you
No, he won't catch you

Her heart jumps
At his touch
His eyes are set, intent,
On the bed
She waits to hear
Words that he'll never say

Her skin is smooth
His hands are rough
Her heart is too fragile
Too susceptible
To the weight
To bear
After he's done with her
He'll move on
To make
Another victim
Another tragedy
And leave her to struggle
To comprehend


Be honest
We say
Yet we turn a deaf ear
To the truth
We don't want to hear

We place taboos
Make forbidden the strange (to us)
Fail to understand difference
Yet promote peace

We claim freedom
For everyone
Yet impose our will
On them all

We proclaim all are eqaul
Yet there is inequality
Prejudice judgement
Why would you judge a book
By its cover?

Monday, August 27, 2007


She can fill a canvas
With every color in the world
Create the perfect picture
With only brushstrokes
Its beauty
Brings tears to the eyes

He creates worlds
With only simpls words
You become emersed in it
Experience it
Yet it's only written in black ink
And on common paper

She captures the very essence of life
In her photos
The joy
The pain
The glory
The shame
Her camera is her best friend
And her photos are her memories

His words can touch
The hearts of men
Even though there is only
A handful of them
They fill only one page
But speak volumes

If only the world weren't so
Judgemental, prejudice
Then maybe these gifted
Could share with no worries
But such a place does not exist
Yet one of these few
Can make a difference
Maybe even create such a place...


I see the sadness in her eyes
Everytime she tries to laugh
Or forces a smile
Stains from a thousand tears
Decorate her grief stricken face
She hesitates with every step
Shudders at the slightest touch
She's afraid and alone
Even though he's right next to her
The reason for all of this

Why does she stay?
What are those marks on his fists?
Her face is maimed
But inner beauty remains
He'll leave soon
And move on to another victim
And leave her to rot and decay
In her own darkness

She may despair
But all she needs
Is someone to say
"I'm here for you"
May the light of day
Pierce the clouds of her mind
And maybe her heart will open
To the joys of the world

I hope she spreads her wings
And soars in the sky
Through the clouds
Across the world
And even if someone
Were to take her wings
And tear them apart
Feather by feather
You can still fly with broken wings
To a new day
With hope and will
Stay safe...

Sunday, August 26, 2007

See It for Yourself

Seperate your coposition
Body full of motion
Heart filled with emotion
Mind full of thought and questions
Soul filled with determination
What remains
Is all the pain
Kept inside
If only you open your eyes
You'll see the truth
The one and only
No longer hidden from you
Or obscured from view
It starts to get lonely
Knowing others are blind
They only know one side
Of the story
But don't worry
Put your composition
Back together
And start rehabilitation
Move like a feather
In the wind
Don't pretend
Just remeber...
This world can be full of lies
Don't be blind
Open your eyes
See the truth
Visible to only you


Victimized by theft
They stole her life, her luxury, her light
And left her to rot in the cold, heartless night
Her heart is heavy with loss
All hope seems lost
Desperation, fear, and despair
Remain rich in the air
She spends time curled up in a corner
Struggling to find a way to keep warm
Her teeth are yellow
Passer bys are so shallow
One glance is all she gets
And then they look away and regret
Ever looking in the first place
At her face
Full of pain and sorrow
Never looking towards tomorrow
Her beauty is long gone
Days are nearly done
So scrawny all her bones protrude
From her figure, so rude
Somebody save her...


Wrap me up in bandages
Even though the blood seeps through
"Tear out my heart" I said
So it won't continue to fuel my wounds

Suffering, severe, injuries
Bloody scarlet red
Pouring out my heart
After being pierced
A thousand wounds
For every time she said
The word "love"

Take the scapal and open up my wounds
Doctor what's wrong with me
Doctor, doctor
What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with me?

Taken on a stretcher
To the Emergency Room
They say "It's gonna be okay"
"It's gonna be okay"
Then I'm put into a deep sleep
By anesthetic
So aesthetic
By anesthetic
So aesthetic

Struggle to Let Go

Sadness envelops my heart
(I don't want to but I have to)
Despair tears at my soul
(Can I truly move on?)
Regrets haunt my mind
(I wanted to do so many things)
Blood stains my hands
(Dreams have died)
Guilt strangles my lungs
(I should have done something)

Her face pleads "No"
Her eyes drown in tears
Her hands reach for me
Reach for the light
But I fade into the darkness
I can't stay

It's killing me
That I can't have what I want
Bliss remains as out of reach as the sky
So why should I try?

Why doesn't it work?
My desires don't go hand in hand
But I can't live without one or the other
Not happily...

But it has to be done
I have to let go
To move on with my life
No one is sure where life will take them
But I hope I've chosen the right path

For her sake as well as mine...

True Hero

He sweats
He bleeds
Breaks his bones
Loses sleep
Surrenders his time
The scars number too many
Almost dies twice
But comes back the next day
For so many years

Comes home exhausted
But finds the energy
To cheer them up
To pretend everything is alright
Nothing's wrong

The paycheck is never enough
But he struggles to make it work
Until his body no longer moves
Is it worth it?
"This is worth it," he says,
"They are worth it."

Soldier's Regrets

Memories I want to forget
Agonize every moment
Regretting mistakes
A second chance eludes me

Her eyes were blood red
She clutched her toy
And grimaced
I pulled the trigger
And her blood spilled
The wall was painted red
I plead for salvation
But receive no answer

Red everywhere...
Screams echo...
Everywhere I look
A life I have taken
Haunting my mind
My sanity
Feeble humanity
She's dead,
And I can't bring her back
Suffer the consequences
Facing fate


She disguises herself
Hides behind fake smiles
Moves in the dark
Stifles screams, silent
A heavy burden she carries
A secret
But she will never tell

She suffers alone
Away from loved ones
Denies help
For the sake of them
But she can only go so far
On her own
Before fatigue
Ensnares her body

But no one would ever notice
Or even detect
The sadness that envelops her
The pain, guilt, regret
That tortures her heart

Behind forced smiles,
And joyful eyes
She disguises herself
To fool the world


Chains bind his wrists
Crows tear at his flesh
Blood spills to the floor

Wounded and weak
Pride means nothing
Illusions haunt his mind

The cliff, so desalate
Empty of life
Yet he still lives

Grasping every breath
With all his strength
Yet he can't escape...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Last Words of a Fallen

I wanted to tell you
So many things
Before I'm gone
But it's too late
So I guess this is

But before I give in,
Surrender to death...

I want to leave some advice
For you, my son
No matter what the odds
No matter what others says

Just stay strong
Just hold on
It's never done
If you give up

And as these wounds
Take their toll on my body
And as my blood
Spills to the floor
As my lungs fail me
With my surrendering body
And the grave comes into view
Know this...
I am always with you
As long as you have a heart



I want to save the day
I want to leave the darkness
No matter what they say
And no matter how I write this
It causes too much pain
And I'm tired of the silence
I go through every day
Always hearing some nonsense
But I will always remain
Aware of my conscience


If it's worth anything
I would like to say
I'm sorry
(For what I've done)
I'm sorry
If you care anymore
Please open the door
To your heart
(Please take me back)
To your heart

I'm on my knees
Begging you please
Don't do this to me
Don't leave

Please don't say goodbye
Don't say goodnight
Or my heart bleeds tonight
Is it too much to ask for?


Can you hear the sirens in the street?
Do you see the light on his dead body?
Can you feel his final heartbeat?

Do you feel the pain in her heart?
Can you hear her silent screams?
Do you see the fear in her eyes?

Can you see the ice in his eyes?
Do you feel the cold of his heart?
Can you hear ice shatter?

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Tree Overhead

People go abut their daily lives
They love, they joke, they fight,
And through it all I do only three things:
I watch, I wait, I listen

He tells her, "I love you with all my heart."
And she says, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I do too, I guess."
Gives him a kiss and walks away
And leaves him to rot with emotions
I watch, I wait, I listen

They tell him
"You suck. Get out of here."
They ridicule, taunt, and jeer
but he takes it, a scapegoat
he knows they're frustrated, mad at themselves
just jealous of natural talent
I watch, I wait, I listen

He tells her
"It'll never happen again, this is the last time
I promise."
with a dazed look in his eyes
"I'm sick of this.
You said last time was last time."
She slaps him in the face and walks away
I watch, I wait, I listen

He says
"Have you heard the one about the drunk and the priest?"
And he replies
"No, how does it go?"
After a moment of
verbal exchange
along with gestures
they erupt in laughter
he says
"Let's go have some fun."
And he replies
But neglects to tell him
"You just saved my life today."
I watch, I wait, I listen

Lock, Key, Treasure

Walking down empty hallways
And echoing sounds
Flickering lights
Thinnest air in the world
(It's hard to breathe)
I find my mind, my sanity
Next to my heart, my humanity
On top of a locked box
And I'm missing the key
But I know I'm missing a part of me
A part of me...

Searching franticly
Breaking down doors
And scouring every surface
I find the key
And it's in her hands
But she runs away
And I give chase
Determined to make myself complete
I've caught her red-handed
But she's already opened the box
And I take a look
Guess what's inside
She's inside the box
I've found a part of me
She's a part of me

Hopes of the Father

I want you to see - Open your eyes
I want you to hear - Listen to these words
I want you to think - What do we fear?
I want you to speak - Let your voice be heard
I want you to feel - The warmth of my hand
I want you to taste - Sweet, sweet victory
And I want you to know - I'll be there
To lift you up
No matter what
All I want
Is for you to be whole
I want you to have it all...


Will you let me in
To your heart?
I want to know you
As you are
You're already perfect
Everythig I wanted
You're everything I wanted
Already perfect

So tell me
Your favorite color
Is black or gray
Are you gone or right here?
Or is it red?
Like the blood from my heart
That would be spilt
Just to see you
And that smile...

Paint this canvas
With your desire

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


The sun won't rise
The moon will never shine
Th stars aren't coming out tonight
Eternal darkness
Engulfs the world
Flames of hatred
Slowly burn
Peace to ashes
With the stars crashing down
And the flames rising
Smoke blinds and suffocates
Blood spills to the floor
Chaos rules us once more
The sky is pouring
Its heart out and spilling
Its blood all over the city
And it all
The end
All we know
Is the end of the world


Glass shatters
Hearts bleed
But it doesn't matter
She left me
Darkness falls
Lights fade out
And through it all
I'm falling down
Past the ground
With broken bones
Make no sound
Only wounds
My heart is broken
Beyond repair
Eyes are bloodshot
Restless nights
Dreams become
Warped, distorted
Hearts break
Into a milliion pieces
Love and Hate
Are two familiar faces
All of this empty space
Never before existed
Try to erase
All of her empty kisses

Lost Love

She left him
For another
And let his heart bleed
But she didn't realize
The feelings
That he still had for her
So he went back
Tried to make her see
What he could do for her
But she stabbed him
In the back
With another man
Blood from his veings
Let his heart bleed
He's gone away
Let him bleed to death
She'll never see him again
He's never coming back
Never coming back
Never coming back
Never coming back

Resist the Ages

I don't want to grow older
Because, you're that much closer
You're that much closer (to the grave)
Going back is so easy
Moving forward's so hard
Step by step
Breath by breath

I held her in my arms
And she clung to me, like
There was no tomorrow
I had to leave
So I said,
"I can't hold you forever,"
And she said
"You can try"

Her Heart

She's been hurt
She's been broken
So many times before
That her heart
Has closed itself
To the world

She wants to fly away
Go and make a brand new day
But she's looking in the wrong place
From the top of the bridge
Fifty feet above
The rushing water
And she stares
And says "okay"
She jumps
And falls
Not expecting to fly just yet
She wants to assure the end

Tell Me, I Want An Answer

He says there's nothing left to live for
He says there's nothing worth dying for
He's just biding his time
And waiting for the end

She says nobody loves her
She says everyone hates her
There's no comfort
For a shattered heart

What do you say to someone
Who's lost all hope?
What can you say to someone
Who's given up?
What words would revive
A sense of life?

He walks and no one sees him
He talks and nobody listens
He stops and everyone passes by
Would someone care if he died?
The mirror shows no image
But he wants a vision

How do you talk to someone
Who won't listen?
How do you help someone
Who doesn't want the attention?
How do you unplug someone that's plugged in
To the system?
How do you save a life
When it wants to die?

Outcasted, Forgotten

He hides
Locked doors
Fake smiles
He conceals
His pain
His rage

She runs
From her troubles
By spilling
All her blood
Reopen wounds
Make new scars
She doesn't care
Her life is over

He's tired
And despairs
All hope is
He ties a noose
Grabs a chair
Guess what
He does

She sits in
A corner
Her eyes are
Wide open
Deprived of sleep
Her screams
In her mind

He breathes in
And breathes out
All the blood
Grabs the gun
And pulls the trigger

And yet we all go on
With our lives
Like nothing's wrong
Even though some die
What have we become?
Tell me

Broken Uncertainty

Takes control over me
Do you know what I need
To breath?
What do I have to bleed
To feed
This monster?

With every step I take
Every move I make
If I am real of fake
The cure
Seems to escape

I,can't, find
A way to end my suffering
Bind, this, mind
To keep me, to keep me, to keep me in one piece
To keep me, to keep me, to keep me in one piece

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Sympathy for Love and the Circus

Open, the door
Turn on, the light
Welcome to
The main attraction
(Come one, come all)
Gather, around
To get, a, good view
Of the show
(It's getting started now)

I feel like the whole world
Is watching me fall, for you
And someone's making money off of it
I can feel their eyes on me
Heavy breathing, waiting
For the moment
I fail, and hit the ground

Ladies, and gentlemen
May I have your attention
Our main Attraction's ready to go
Watch him perform, for your entertainment
(And don't forget)
Concession stands, are right out, the door

I feel like the whole world
Is watching me fall for you
And someone's making money off of it
I can feel their eyes on me
(Heavy breathing, waiting)
For the moment
I fail, and hit the ground

(Their eyes are focused)
Anticipation's at its peak
(No chance to escape this)
I feel so weak
I fall
And try to catch your heart
I'm trying to catch your heart
Trying to catch you...

Passion, Phoenix

I'd wait
Forever and a day
Forever and a day I'd wait
For you
When the world comes crashing down
Around you
I'll be there
When you're burning out and
I'll raise you from the ashes now
Raise you from the ashes
With these arms
And this heart


word = speaking/singing
(word) = whispering/echo
[word] = stern voice/screaming