Waiting to Fly

Even after the years fly by
And we grow older
Will you ever understand?

The pain you cut
So deep in me
The nights you watched me bleed
Watched me scream
You heard nothing
It was written on your face
In a shade darker than black
I've gone numb from this hurt
Jaded

When we take a turn for the worse
And death shows its face
Will you ever think of me
In the light?

The tears I've shed
I'll never show you
Because you wouldn't see me
you're blind to my suffering
Oblivious in your own perfect LITTLE world

I wasn't born as perfect
Because there's no such thing as perfection
But you just keep trying
Keep believing in NOTHING

I feel like I've wasted my time here
My life
But there's nowhere else to go
Because I haven't found it yet
I've grown my wings
Just wait until I learn to fly
My day
My time

Not Very Receptive

I will never say the words you want to hear
I don't have them in me
Search all you want
They were ripped from my chest
And burned to ashes

There's nothing that will birth the sound
The bittersweet touch
The uncertainty that you crave
There's nothing in my chest
Nothing that excites me
There's a hole
A dark, empty whole
I'm probably missing something there
But I'll never find
I don't want it
I don't need it

Your eyes are bleeding
Clear streams, inconsistent streams
Why are you still here?
There's nothing for me here
There's nothing for you here
There's no one here
I don't exist
I just pass by

Lost Hope

I have no joy to tell you
I have no good news
I don't come in peace
I break it
Tear it to pieces

This cold glaze in my eyes
Isn't meant for friends
So why would you try?
No one bothers with me
I don't bother with them
I don't need...them...

I swear the shadows dance around me
They whisper to me
They scream at me
They grab me by the heart
And choke me to death
Only to bring me back
To do it all again

There's nothing left for me to believe in
I refuse
There's no one here for me
Abandoned
Again
Not again
It's only again
Silence is all that I crave now
I've acquired a distaste for company

These were built for resisting
Locks were made for solitude
Doors aren't mirrors
I don't have to see myself
My shadow is my reflection
I don't need a face anymore
No one cares about me
I don't care about...them...

I'm just a voice
Echoing somewhere
Maybe it's the wind
Maybe it's my ghost...

It Only Goes Down From Here

I'm feeling dark today
So get that light out of my face
Before I drag you down with me
How would you like that?
The shadows will devour you whole
And nothing will remain
But your bare bones
Could you face yourself in the mirror then?
Could you live without the plastic?

I'm feeling alone today
So get away from me
I'll lock you out
Of my room
Of my heart
Of my life
Stay away
No one will enter
I won't leave
Never

I'm feeling agitated today
Just try me
I dare you
I double dare you
Try it
And see what happens

You're No Support

I cried out for help
And you yelled at me
Yelled at me
YELLED AT ME!!!

If I could stop this
Don't you think I would?
Do you think I'm so stupid?
Don't lie to
LIE TO ME!!!
Tell me
What you think
What I think you think
What I know you think

If I could explain
These inexplicable noises
Do you think I like this?
I was never perfect
We were never perfect
You swear I want this
I never wanted
Never wanted it
Never wanted this

Tear me apart
Cut out the wrong
What's wrong with me?
WHAT'S WRONG!!!

Why
Can't
I

Let me be
Let me by
Let me be
Let me by

You'll never know
How much it hurts
To hear your words
Stabbing me
Constantly

You'll never
Understand
My pain
No matter how hard you try
You'll never try
To see my side
No
You'll never try
Just yell at me
YELL AT ME!!!

I'm crying
Crying

I'm dying
Dying