The Arsonist...He's Dead Now...

*note: rewrite of The Tragedy of the Arsonist

There was nothing complicated about it
Just a box of matches
Few gallons of gasoline
It was so simple
Surely even he could do it

[Watch it burn!]
[Watch me burn!]

Something sadistic about his smile
Something nervous in his hand
(What's this? Regret?)

[Burn it away!]
[Burn everything!]

(Embers, embers)
Light memories on fire
(Ashes, ashes)
Pain erase pain

Taking pride in the flames
Finding joy in the flames
A sick smile before he burned away

Ironic the sky lamented his sorrow
Shed tears he never could
Yellow suits in red trucks came
And washed away the remains
Lights still flashing
"There's no one inside the building"

She stands alone
No one will move her
Eyes glazed over
Ashes remain

He stole her heart

(The flames took his)

Haunting memories
Twisted him; became
What he never wanted

She wanted to help
She tried to help
She wanted to help

[Burn it away!]
[Burn me away!]
[Burn everything!]
[Everything!]
(To ashes)
The blaze dies
Down...

Get Over This

I saw you everyday
It's gonna be weird when your not there
I'll probably forget you died
For a couple of days at the very least
I could sound insensitive right now
But it's true
It'll probably slip my mind
Because you were there each and every day
And I could say that I'll never forget you
But that would be a lie
Yeah, I'm gonna miss you
And I hope you find peace soon
But I'll move on from this
I have too
But before I go
One last thing
The very last thing
I never got to say
"Rest in peace man.
Goodbye."

Life's Too Sudden

Life is too cruel
People cry everyday
People die everyday
But why
Oh why
Did it have to be you?
...
I can't take this!
I just saw you yesterday
You were fine
You were smiling
You were breathing
...
I wish I knew what happened
I wish I knew it wasn't your fault
I wish I could turn back the hands of time
Go to where you are
Hold you back from your grave
I wish I could save you
But I can't
Your already dead
...
I never believed in an afterlife
But I never said it wasn't there
And if your up there
If you can hear me
I really hope your happy man
Hope you found peace
Hope you found something
But fuck man
I can't get over this
I feel like I don't want to be close to anyone anymore
I don't wanna see them cry
I don't wanna see them die
If this is life then maybe I don't want to live

(just for fun)

Do you know how to spell?
Can you spell the color grey?
Do you spell it with an 'e'?
Do you spell it with an 'a'?
I've been asking all around
But all around they sound the same
Can you spell
The color
Gray?

Future

The heroes
They're dead now
These morals
That we held
Are just dust
In the ground

Six feet under
Our breath we
Feel lost but
Move on
Unsure of
Tomorrow

But so sure of this moment
It makes me sick

I reach my arms
As far as they can
Trying to hold on
To what's lost
But it's never better there
Where we came from
We've moved on
Now we got these problems
Nothing left but to solve them

Our pride never
Saved us our
Lies never
Gave us what
We really
Wanted all
The lipstick
And plastic
Pretty worthless
Never lasted
We're searching
For happy
-Ness or
Something like it

If ignorance is bliss
Let's all be ignorant

We've come pretty far now
Dug our hole pretty deep now
The sky's growing farther away
The night eases off to day
Are we moving forwards
Or in reverse?

All the books we never read
Had no chance of saving dead
It was us who took us down
The fall is ours and no one else
Who's left to blame besides ourselves?
There's no one left: we are dead now!

It was my fault

It was yours too

Come Back Home (I Miss You)

So I know
Everybody's got a life to live
Everybody's got a chance to give
A gift, so precious
But I can't help it
Just let me be
Here I am
Being selfish

I want you by my side
Through the day and through the night
(I miss you)
And your smile

So won't you please just
(Come, back, home)
Come back, where you belong
And I know
That this might be wrong
And I know that
(I)
Never did
(Nor)
Never will
(Know)
Every single thing in this
(Whole, wide, world)
But I know for certain
For sure
Known ever since before
I started this little
Play on words
For you

I'm just trying to tell you
Short and sweet
Simple and clean
Plain and simple
I miss you

I miss you
Been missin' you
For
(Far, too, long)
And it's hard
When you
Occupy
This song
All along
I always knew
It would come to this
And believe me
I took a chance
But missed

So won't you please just
Won't you please just

[Come back home]
(Come, back, home)
I've been waiting
I'll be waiting
With open arms
[I miss you
Said I miss you]

And today's
Another one
Of those days
The days
When you feel like
You can say
What's on your mind
What you feel

(No hesitation)

I'm taking this chance
To let off my chest
What I've been trying to say
(Dying to say)
Ever since you left
No
I'm not happy with this

And who knew
That I
Would ever
Write like this
Matching every other word
With a different rhyme
'Cause a rhyme scheme
Is too cliche
For me

And these words are flowing
Partly 'cause
Right now
No worry

You've been too far
For too long
And I'm just
Writing you this song
So you won't forget
Where you came from
And I hope you met
Somebody new
And interesting
Maybe we
Can get along
Like nobody else
And I hope for you
The best
And nothin' less
'Cause that's
(Just the way I am)

It's kinda funny
How I keep wishin'
That you're alright
That you're okay
You stick and stay
With it
Make it through
Make a memory
Of it

But at the same time
Wishin' that you just
(Quit)
Hurry back home
Jump into
These open arms
I'll hold you forever
Or until you say so
Whatever the case
I'm just
Tryin' to let you know

(I miss you)

Won't you please just
Oh won't you please just

[Come back home]
(Come, back, home)
I've been waiting
I'll be waiting
With open arms

(I miss you)
Like nothin' else
(I miss you)
Like nobody else

Now it's time
To call it quits
That's a wrap
Tie this away
Final words to say
'Fore I leave
It's okay
I've been waiting
And I'll keep waiting
'Til you come home
Tellin' everyone
That you made it
(I hope you make it)

Just hurry up
[I miss you]
(Come, back, home)

Johnny

Johnny never lived his dream
Never had a chance
Got drafted, sent to boot camp
Trained about a day
Then it's time to leave

No gun on shoulder
Barely a soldier

And over there
Overseas
Saw terrible things
Watched his best friend die
Right there in his arms
Cried out for help
All he got
Were bullet shells
Dropping to the floor

Bodies piled up
And every face, he knew
Were put in his squad
One day or the other
And now they're dead
Nothin' showin' for it

Well

Johnny came home
And we threw a parade
That lasted less than a day
And after we
Left our separate ways

Johnny served his country
Hooray

But that very same country
Left him out in the dark
Left him for dead
Left him with the nightmares
All the faces with blood
All the bodies dismembered
The bombs still dropping
In Johnny's mind
And they drop
As he screams in the night

Yeah

Johnny got medication
But all it did was
Make Johnny just wasted
Left him with the fear
With the blood on his hands
Left him with the image
Morphine = high demand

And the nightmares
Don't get me started on that
Johnny can't function

Right

In a world
With such bright lights
And every other sound
A bomb to his ears
And now

Johnny's just wasting away
Living every night like
It's the last of his days
He's so sure he'll

(Die tomorrow)

But relives the sorrow

(Everyday)

And now he
Can't live in his home

He worries the children

And his wife remarried

The court took his little kids
In shackles and chains
Gave 'em to people
Who want paid

And Johnny sits there alone
On a park bench and cold
Cop tells him to leave
And Johnny wants

(Just)

To tell him his story
But can't talk right
And the cop won't listen

Johnny's out of a bed
Now he wanders the streets
Not sure what he's looking for

Really needs a home
But nobody wants him

(He's crazy)

Rattling on about
How he served in the army
Served his country
Got home, had a parade
Lasted less than a day
And his wife left him
Court took the kids...

(...No one's listening)

Losing Sight

So focused on tomorrow
We forgot about today
Past is even further away
Irrelevant to the present
Or so we like to think
And history is set on repeat
Mistake after mistake
We give, then we take
Back what was ours
Take any, it's ours!

Now I don't mean
To be a rebel
But if so
Then that's your label
And I hope really
You revel
In the rubble
I'm about to rain down
From the sky
The very clouds
That hover over us
Every single day

And it's like this
We can't hit
We miss
Because we can't see
The whole world's
One eye blind

I'd like to see you try
To stop your life
Just for a second
Hold your breath
Stop your heart
Watch the leaf fly by
Don't you feel something wrong?
There's a war going on!
People are dying
And we worry about the economy
But nobody
Wants to remember that

Focus on the good times
Let's all lie to ourselves
Make us feel better
Why not?
Give me medication
Make it go faster

The children of tomorrow
Were abandoned today
We left them for dead
They're as bad as the past
Moving on before we ever settled down
But the future is ours!

I'll Save Myself

[I don't
Want to be saved]
If it means
Giving up
On me
[I'll find a way through this]
[Find a way
Find my way]
My own
Way

(I don't
Want this)
Your shining hand
Offered to my stoic face
[I'll shove it away
Turn you away]

Call me stubborn
Call me [crazy]
Call me anything you want
[To hear]

I'm determined
Determined to find a way
(I can call my own)
Find a way
[I tried]

That's yours
[Not mine]

Salvation never
Sounded so empty
(I don't want your)

[Fragile words]
They cut
So deep
Blood flow forth
(Drain me)

How can I believe
What you force
[On me?]

I
Can't take (this)
Anymore

I
Can't take (this)
Anymore
Anymore
No more
[No more]

My path
(Deviates)
From dancing (angelic)
White feathers
My path
(Deviates)
From the shadows
(That fall from the sky)
My path
Walks alone
Tries to learn
(Tries to know)

Still searching
Searching
For the reasons

I want to know

(Why?)

(Why?)

How can I believe?

I want to know

(Why?)

(Why?)

What you force on me?

I'll save myself

[I'll find it
Find it on my own]

I'll save myself

[Why?]

I'll save my
Self...

Tell it

All the kids
In my life
Had their own voice
And weren't afraid
To say what was on their mind
In fact we'd shout from all the high places
"Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out!"
Yeah, we'd shout until the night faded to day
And we'd say
"We are We are
The youth of the nation"

Each and every one of us
Is different
Unique and special
We're individuals
Capable of anything
We set our minds to
From the grand master schemes
To the little things like
"I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars"

We're out to disprove their fact
That "In the end
It doesn't even matter"
And while we fight
We struggle
"We give it all"
But still...

We need some support
Someone to lean on
If it all falls down
"Promise me you will be there
Until the red light will change"
At least
At the very least
The bare minimum
But can you even give me that?
Or will you hold out
Wait to see the fallout
But by then
I'm out of air
Or would you care?

Yeah, we're imperfect,
But don't you dare say we're worthless
Cause I know for a fact
When these lives collide
A new idea comes to life
And breathe tomorrow
Another day
To say
How much we appreciate
The little things
No one else can see
But we
We know better
Cause we're there

"I'm not okay"
And that's fine because
This life isn't perfect by design

Identity

I
Wear my heart on my sleeve
But you're telling me
To take it off
Tear if off
Rip it out
And I keep trying, trying so hard
But it's stuck, stapled to my arm
But you bleed
You fight
You try
To stay on top of the game
Stay cool
Be cool
But it's never one in the same
Because it keeps changing up, day to day
Almost about as often and fast as the time
That blows by you, the past
Every single of day your lifetime
And when you're there
It's never permanent
Because it's impossible
You can't keep up
You won't last

So
Give me the world with no logos
No tags
No groups no clicks no demographics
Just give me the masses
People who want to learn to love to live

I'm telling you
Take the kids out of factories
Let 'em know what fresh air is

I don't need you
Or anybody else telling me
What to wear
How to act
Or who to be
Please
You don't even know me
Not the first thing
That anyone with eyes can see
I'm me
Just me
No one else in the world exactly like me
But damn
We can get pretty close
But not exactly the same thing
We got our own names

We're different
And it doesn't take much
To know this,
But you persist
And insist
That you can dictate the trend
When people don't give in (so easily)

And I told you
Before any of this mess ever started
That you should just roll with it
This is no physics
The outcome can't be predicted

We're alive
We keep changing
The passing of time
Is
The only thing the same
Until we change even that
Oh, wouldn't that be the day?

We got faces
Let's see 'em
There's no need to hide
Our identity isn't our clothes or cash or cars
But who we know we are on the inside
And it's sad to see
That some people can't even tell
The difference between you and me
They group us up
And say "they're all the same"
But really,
Who's the one to blame

I'm tired of everyone's ignorance
There's things we'll never understand
But that doesn't mean we don't need to explain
If we just tell each other what we really need
Then there'd be no reason to feign innocence

And
That's the beauty of being human
We learn to live and grow
But it'll never happen if you don't try
Because some people just wait to die
And I hope you aren't one
There's a crowd to join and follow
But I'm more interested in tomorrow

Tell it to the market analysts
Treating us teens like sheep
Herding us together to sell us "hot"
And in a few days it'll be "not"
It's not like they care about you
Don't give me that look you know it's true
The money is all they want
But I'm getting out
Because I can't stand the noise

Give me the world with no logos no tags no fads no trends no fashion even
Because all I really care about is who I am as a person
I don't need you telling me who I am
Or what I want, or what I need
I'll be who I choose to be
Because you don't know the anything about me
I'll even give you a hint
I like to breathe

"Your soul is alive but they want it from ransom."

It Hurts

I know now you never felt that way
About me
But do you know what it's like?
Loving with no return
Foolish feelings don't seem to fade
What was I to you?
Just a friend?
Right?
It hurts
Because
Right now,
I can't let go
There's a thing we humans have
It's called hope
It's what pulls us through
The brink of despair
It's why we live
We hope for a better tomorrow
And that's keeping you here
In my heart
It's been broken
Torn up
Shred to pieces even
But hope pulls it back together
And you're still here
Nothing makes sense right now
And I'd make a fool of myself
For you
But
This feeling
Won't fade

It's Not That I'm Not Grateful...

It's just that sometimes I wonder...

Father
Let me be selfish for a bit
Tell me
Why do you try so hard?
Why do you care
About what I do
Or who I'm with?
I haven't done anything for you!
Tell me
Tell me why
Is it some sort of pride?
Or do you feel responsibility?
Is it your duty?
Or a distorted sense of honor?
You're not forcing me to eat
You just leave the food on the table
I think my door keeps you out
Because you don't knock when I close it
You don't come in unannounced
You don't search and seize
You just talk to me
I hear you
But I'm not listening
But you just talk
What am I worth to you?
Don't say the world
Please
I don't deserve it
...
You know
Your kindness hurts sometimes

Whirlwind

My heart is a whirlwind
Of mistakes
Memories
Regrets
Dreams
Love
Loss
Fears
Joys
Nightmares
And what if's

They circle around
In the most vicious of winds
Sharp as thorns
Cutting my insides

I feel like I'm dying
From the anxiety of tomorrow
And what it brings
Because I'm forced to let go
Of yesterday's dreams
And face today's realities
Bracing for pain
That remains timeless

The whirlwind spins outward
And grows to envelop my body
The winds so thick they block my vision
Force so strong they distort the voices
I can't make out what they're saying anymore
They're just...noise
Someone's there
But who is it?
Are they for me?
Are they against me?
Do they even care?

It's not what can I be?
It's what will I be?
If I have the potential
Doesn't that frighten
Anyone else but me?
There's light within me
To compliment the darkness
Who's to say one won't
Overtake the other
Along with my heart?

But for now the winds are blowing
Stronger than ever
I sense change
But I'm not sure
If it's for the better
All I know is that the wind is blowing
Raging in my ears
There's noise in the background
All I see are figures
Distorted shadows
But all I really know for sure
Is that I'm stuck in the eye
Of a whirlwind
That has the potential to destroy
Or just disperse...

We're Mixed, Yet So Messed Up

All the colors are smeared
Across the faces of the people
We know no longer a "pure"
Yet we still try
With dark secrets beneath the surface
And filters in full effect
To limit them below our vision
Drive them below our aspirations
But we were raised with a bar to reach
A bar to exceed
To extend our reach far beyond anything
We imagined through the mysteries of our dreams
So why do we try to do what we've hated
For so many generations
Why do we work so hard to make ourselves shine
At the expense of the potential of our future?

What to Believe

Yesterday I saw a man on the street
He wasn't dead beat or tired
Dressed in jeans and other attire
White beard pretty clean, eyes unfrozen
Nothing out of place, nothing broken
He was holding a sign in black ink
"Homeless. No casa. Please help me."
And I sat in the car, passenger seat
Thinking
Wondering whether or not to believe
The story he told, or was it just a lie?
Judging whether or not to buy this for real
Driver just turned the wheel
Ignored him
Because
We've seen so many things in our lives
A lot of half-truths, just plain lies
Everybody tries to get theirs for free
And I've grown cold to those around me
I don't feel sorry for him because he looked
Perfectly fine, get out, get a job, dollar or dime
It's crazy
We're so dependent on medication
That we don't know the meaning of dedication and
Hard work
Too lazy to utter an "erk"
Keep moving along, passing by, gone...

Lying Little Pill

I'm sick and tired
Of trying to be alright
I'm not okay
Not okay

But you don't believe
You won't believe
Say you can't ever
Believe me

Swallow the pill
It'll make you better
(You're such a liar)

I'm trying to tell you
Been trying to tell you
But you're impossible
To talk to

It figures...

The one person
I'm supposed to talk to
Won't even listen to me

You call it excuses
But I'm trying to help myself
Trying to find an answer
Without asking questions
Because you're no help

Swallow the pill
It'll make you better
(You're such a liar)

There's plenty more
Left to say
But even these
Won't reach you...

Hate Me

[You hate me
I hate me
So who's left
To join in the fun?]

[You hate me
I hate me
So who's
Left?]

Where is my (joy)
Where is my escape
(Why can't I)
Ever seem to be
The one
(You want)

[I'm not perfect
You're not perfect
They're not perfect
But perfect
Is what you want]

[We're not perfect
It don't exist
But perfect
Is all you want]

(Perfection)
An illusion
(Perfection)
I hate it
(Like me)

[But still you scream
You scream
At me]

I'm no mistake
No mistake

I'm just me
Just me the me I want to be

[Why don't you open
Open your eyes
Stop acting blind
I know you can see
Stop lying
Stop trying]

You blame me
(For yourself)
You blame me
(For myself)
You blame me
(For anything)
You blame me
(For everything)

[I can't take anymore]

...

If you cut me
And I cut me
How many cuts will it take?
Will I bleed?
Will I die?
Will you see?
Will you try?

[Take this blade]
Cut me deep
(Maybe I'll)
Finally feel
Something
(From you)
Be it pain
Or pain

[All that you ever gave me]

I hate me
(Cut me deep inside)
You hate me
(You finally gave me)
Something to feel
[Pain]
All that you give
All that you give

I'm not perfect
(You're no better)
Stop dreaming (because)
I'll never be
(Who you want me to be)

I'm just me
(Just me)
Just me
(Just me)
I'm just
Me

[Someone we can all hate]